Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Never enough

Pregnantandlonely
Pregnantandlonely

Since I can remember I've been insecure. There are days when I feel like i am worth something and more days when I feel like i don't. The real struggle is knowing deep down inside that I am worthy, but convincing my mind that I am and always feeling that way. It's lie there's 2 me's. Yes, I have been told I suffer from depression, anxiety, body and have even been treated as big polar. I've tried my best to accept who I am, but like I said, have better days than others. I quite often feel like i am not a good enough mother, girlfriend, friend or daughter. I beat myself up more than any other ever could. I feel as though I need to be validated and crave attention on an unhealthy level. Before my current SO, I was on many online dating sites and loved the attention I got. I used to "hook up" with a lot of random men and this would make me feel good, but in the long run, would leave me feeling empty and lonelier than before. My bf and I are expecting a baby soon and have a great relationship. Our sex life has diminished over the last few months and has left me feeling inadequate. Is it normal to need to have sex to feel connected to someone? I feel like it's my way of feeling closeness, of expressing my love. It has left me feeling like maybe I'm not good enough, maybe he's not attracted to me anymore, what if he's cheating. The thoughts are forever running through my mind and it's prohibiting me from focusing on more important issues. I have a difficult time talking to him about it. My words never come out right. I tend to come across as an ungrateful bitch, but this is not how I intend for things to be. Sex is an important part of who I am. It relieves stress, makes me feel empowered, gives me a rush, but most importantly, when I'm with someone I love, makes me feel incredibly close to that person. I'm at a point where I'm not sure what to do. I just dont want to feel less than I am because of this or like he doesn't want to be with me physically. But what if he really doesn't? What if he really isn't attracted to me? The "what ifs" are tearing me up. I don't want to live in doubt.

Ghostdancer
Ghostdancer
Well you know him best so what if you have a date night at home? Special whatever for both of you and he and of course baby so no alcohol but sparkling juices are nice. Dark chocolate or ???? Think aphrodisiac items?? You know the best items you both enjoy, oysters??
Pregnantandlonely
Pregnantandlonely
We do spend time together. I am not one who often initiates sex and he knows this. I have an enormous fear of being rejected. He cuddles me a lot, but doesn't seem to want to have sex with me. He says to me, have I ever turned you down before? Even so, why don't you make moves on me anymore? I don't want to bother someone who doesn't want to be with me intimately. I did try to the other night and he literally did not kiss me back. To me that is the worse feeling ever. I want to be wanted. And I'm scared to flat out ask that question because I am afraid I'll get a response that will devastate me even more.
dyinginside35
dyinginside35
I can relate to you. I crave attention especially from men. For the last week ive been realizing just how much of an ugly woman i am and it hurts like hell. I want one guy to think im hot and im attracted to them. We wanted to be desired. I want it in the worse way but no its not in my cards. I hope you can fight and realize you deserve it. I feel at times im destined for a horrible lonely life. Im here if yoi want to talk but ur not alone. I deal each day with thinking men hate me. Stay strong
Pregnantandlonely
Pregnantandlonely
I'm sorry you feel this way. I know how much it sucks. I watch other women walk around with so much confidence and wonder why I can't be that way. You see, I'm not.an unattractive person and yet, I've still been cheated on so I really don't get what I'm doing wrong and I have such a hard time to trust. It took many men to make me think I'm pretty. Even still, I don't feel good enough. Even more of a reason I think no an can be faithful. Because I am pretty and loyal. So why do they cheat? Maybe it's the men I attract? I wish I could figure it out
sweets81
sweets81
I've been dealing with what you're going through for years now(not pregnant though) and I am emotionally drained. I have recently come to a point in my life where I had to walk away from the person that says he loves me but was always emotionally empty and cold. He lived on his laptop and played dominos all day.. I only got the "truth" or a really good conversation from him if he was high. I'm sure you are a wonderful person and we all have times when what we're thinking doesn't match the words that come out. Don't stress yourself about anything but your little bundle of joy that's waiting to meet the world.. Men are different and they deal with things waaayyy differently than we do... Stay prayed up and I'm sure everything in your life and within your relationship will work out fine!!
Pregnantandlonely
Pregnantandlonely
Thank you all for your replies. It certainly does help knowing that other people experience similar issues and that I'm not alone in the way I feel. The past couple weeks I have been trying my best to turn my focus and energy into things that REALLY matter. Like my kids, the lil one that's on the way. Getting prepared for all of that. With my relationship, I've been trying to let things go a bit. Asking myself if I'm just being paranoid before I go and run my mouth! I guess sometimes we need to just put certain things on a back burner to remain at peace and right now, my baby and mines health are what's important right now. My bf is being good to me and no matter what, one can never be entirely certain of what their partner is up to. If I chose to be in a relationship then I am agreeing to open myself up to many possibilities. Pain, deceit, heartache, but also, love, commitment, encouragement, security.... I could go on, but point is, I'm chosing not to dwell on the pain/deceit that hasn't happened yet. It's way too exhausting. Hopefully, I can maintain this positivity for a bit!! This is generally how I work. Ups and downs. Just try to make the ups as long as they can be!