Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Since I was a young teen until now (I am 41) I have either been severely suicidal depressed at the worst and dysthymic at the best. There is always a black cloud over my head....a heaviness on my shoulders. I don't know why. I have never been abused. I have been tried on dozens of antidepressants and have settled on two that work the best. But I just still have this underlying death wish. If I could choose to die right now I would, even if I were promised a long healthy, prosperous life. I guess you could say I am a melancholy person. It just wears me down after a while ya know? Does anyone else here have that ever present doom and gloom that they have not been able to shake? I would never kill myself. I went down that road a few times when I was younger and it tore my family apart. I don't want to be selfish. I just don't want to live.
Sorry to hear that you've had severe depression for such a long time.
Gloom and doom isn't for me. I need and seek hope - there's always hope as long as you're breathing.
The idea of the promise of a long, healthy prosperous life sounds enchanting. To be at a point where it isn't appealing - even though
you feel that everything has been tried - something hasn't - whatever
would fix the problem, and there is almost for certain something. Trying alternative treatments/supplements/diets, and each day, researching - just one minute. You may stumble upon something that
totally changes how you feel about your life.
Sending good thoughts.
I was raised that suicide is a sin and I will go to hell and burn for eternity. I also was taught to believe in the end we get paradise and to see our departed loved ones. Are you also affected by those beliefs?
I too feel I have a black cloud over my head. I don't live, I merely exist.
I'm sorry you have to live through this. It isn't easy.
It's even harder to tell this to people. They just think you are crazy. I told this to a therapist and asked her if she thought I was crazy. She said, "No, you are just unhappy."