Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I’m having a hard day, week, year....
Never been very good at talking to people about my feelings or anything personal going on in my life. Even here. Who to trust. How will I be judged. The problems I run into are people want to fix and sometimes it’s just a season of lessons learned and I can’t just pretend I’m fine bc they did something to help. I thank them but I’m also honest, especially if they’re telling me to jump and I need to duck....Another problem is people just don’t know what to say, don’t understand or don’t want to listen bc they can’t face their own issues and me being strong enough to face mine (according to my counselor) creates an ugliness in them that I somehow let define me.
I can’t stop letting some words define me. From people who hardly know me. From people who clearly lie. From people who are obviously wrong. Their words really cut like a knife to my heart. To take such a huge step for me after hearing words that made me question everything is HUGE. I trusted my plan. I trusted God. I went anyway telling myself those words don’t define me, but I’m not fully convinced that they don’t define me. I clearly have problems when it comes to people. I don’t hate people. I hate myself. Doing the best I can anyways. I don’t think anyone in the family suspects anything. We don’t talk feelings. We are fine - always. We grin and bear it so in their eyes I’m doing great. I’m strong. I know I need help and I know I can’t find it in them.
I thought I had a friend. She kept asking how things are, no how are they really...so I was honest. So stupidly honest and she freaked out. After months she just flipped literally four days before I made the biggest change in my life. Now I wonder if I can ever trust anyone. Not because of them but because of me - will I ever see the wolves? Will I ever see when there’s an agenda? I want to clam up but I won’t. I can’t. I will drown in this sea of depression if I do. I may drown in it anyways but I’m showing up to support group and church with hopes of being able to tread water until the storm passes. If I break down I may freak out and clam up but at least I will be there. If I break down, hopefully it’s from hearing something I need to hear.
