I'm an old, straight grandma. You sound a bit shy to me. I want to tell you to focus on finding friends first. It also sounds like you're waiting for the right guy, good for you, I respect anyone who has the patience to wait and not just go flying off the wall. Sleeping around, kissing around only focuses on the physical, patience in waiting creates a greater love. Love will find you when you least expect it. That's true. Please give yourself as much time as you need to find it. You're gonna love it!

Agree, just make gay friends...and then join them when they go to gay clubs to dance.

This sounds like your first time in an atmosphere where people either don't care one way or the others about your sexuality and/or are open-minded and embracing of diversity. I would say this to anyone, gay or straight. Make friends with people both gay and straight. If you are getting a negative reaction from men you are attracted to, you may be coming off as eager. Or maybe you were so closed off in your hometown that you haven't had much opportunity to socialize and need some practice. That's ok. It happens to a lot of people, me included.

I didn't have the same situation as you but when I left catholic school to attend public school in a new state, I was horrendously shy and awkward. My oldest friend is the first friend I made in public school. She's said more than once that she couldn't get me to talk at one time. Now she can't get me to shut up! lol. I have old report cards that say the same thing. The comments were "Your child is very bright and excels in school but she needs to talk more." In fact, I think it says that on all of them lol.

Take advantage of this opportunity to meet new people. IMO making friends with someone first can be the best way to find someone that is right for you. All good relationships are built on friendship in one form or another. It's a good time to grow in so many ways. And you will feel more and more comfortable as time goes on and form friendships. It takes some time at first like it did with me, but you will get there and one day your oldest best friend will threaten to duct tape your mouth too :)

Gay or straight, people that are desperate for love scare off all but other desperate people. Seek to do the things you love to do, join or form a meetup.com group centering on one of your hobbies. If you don't have any hobbies, you need to get one or two things you love to do, they are essential coping tools throughout your life and they are part of what some call "friendship capital". Doing something interesting, becoming passionate about a hobby or a cause creates character, gives one something to talk about, and helps build self esteem by doing something you consider worthwhile. By joining a group, be a walking, jogging, knitting, quilting, biking, hiking, mushroom hunting, chess playing, Frisbee golf, soccer playing or whatever, you are with others who also like that activity, something in common helps to start conversations. You may want to join a gay rights group, usually made up of mostly gay/lesbian/bi/trans people, but some straight supporters as well, but gives you an opportunity to meet those in your community and work on issues that important. You can also meet lots of people with their hearts in the right place through volunteering for your favorite non-profit (Choices abound, from building houses for Habitat for Humanity, to working with abandoned homeless pets, children's ward at local hospital, nature conservancy, working with youth at risk, fighting pollution, helping to organize community arts events, join a choir, raise money for the human society, to name a few. ) Great advice above in the other posts, to make friends first and worry about the intimacy part when it evolves organically.