Where do I begin; I wasn't always this way as I am about to fill you in, I had a life, a fun, energetic life. I was (was) knowledgeable, married, earned degrees, I have two wonderful boys-one who has a girlfriend which is another posting all on its own, haha.

So what went wrong? My wife Really really wanted children. she was going to college part time and working part time and kept saying that it wasn't the right time it wasn't the right time. She was in an 8 year nursing program part time and she flunked out. She then gathered her thoughts and went back to school after 6 months to become a Drug and Alcohol Counselor for Children part time.

All this time my biological clock was still clicking and we were talking during her break about having children. So for Christmas one of her Christmas gifts I gave her a book of childrens names.

In 1996 we had our son Joe jr. and everything in my ex's world snapped. Her temper shortened, Everything became about her, not about family first as we discussed prior. She shopped more for herself leaving us broke causing me to get a second job. And this went on and on. I thought it was getting a little better so we decided to have a second child, a son, in 2002.

Ok! everything seemed fine. Until my Mom, shout out to Betty Metallo, passed away in January of 2003 and I fell into a depressive state for a couple weeks. I was even hospitalized. At home I was ridiculed because of this by my ex because I wasn't strong enough, which only hurt more.

So my anger with her anger and the stress of all the jobs and school and children and lack of money and my best friend just past away. I come home from work one day and my computer was currently down, it was containing some financial information on it that couldn't be deleted. Turns out my ex had her sister come over to work on it to reboot it to factory settings--yea, ouch! So, I blew up, I lost it. I start yelling about everything and calling her out on everything, lazy, thief, you name it I said it.

I was asked to stay away from the home that night, which I did. The next day I was served with a restraining order and a week later Divorce papers.

So, that begins the story, now let me bring you to the present. When I move out of my home I went to live with my Dad, I didn't want to do it, but I had no other choice.This was 2007. We have never got along ever. he hated me and I never knew or will know why. And I am too afraid to ask. It is 2014 and I have dropped so far.

During these past 7 years my ex has been the thorn in my side. She continues to try to live my life for me. When the divorce happened I was awarded Child support but she begged me not to take it and I gave in. Three years later she pulls me into court and because I couldn't afford a lawyer to defend myself I could not retrace and defend some of the statements being made so some how full custody was awarded to my ex and full child support was awarded to her. Now when I begged her...she refused. Plus they started the Child support in the Rears. I don't get that one either. Still can't afford a lawyer.

I have medical issues all my life. From suffering from migraine headaches to Type I Diabetes, Gerd, Chocoholocism (haha) to having more serious...Brain Tumors. I have had one shrunken in 2012 and then surgically removed in December of that year. I was home to recover when I started seizing. If it was not for my youngest son I may be dead. I got to spend Christmas day in the Hospital with my boys, his girlfriend and my in-laws.

I missed work, lost money. My work didn't have short term Disability so I had to borrow from family and friends. Get rides from the same because there is a 90 day no driving rule for Epileptics.

Prior to my surgery my sister threw me a fundraiser, I thought WOW! This is great. I can't believe she would do something like this for me given our history (not a good one, and she lives here in the same house).

So the Day of the Benefit I hear that the starting bags are filled with $125 ea and there were three bags.I also here that her friend was having Browns Chicken donated with mashed potatoes and gravy. And you know who I heard this from? The bar owner, who has been a friend of the family for many years.

Success! $3200. I sat with my sister to collect the money and this is how it went. " I need $500 for the original starting bags, I need $250 for the catering. Joe (twinkle twinkle) could I have $300 to give to my son because they're really hurting right now (uh, hello?) And Joe (twinkle twinkle) could you borrow me $400 to pay of our cousin for a debt that I ow'd him for a long time? Also, you'll need to pay Dad for the stamps and stationary which comes to almost $160. Plus you have this check in here that was written directly to Dad, so why don' you dive that to him as a gift?...WTF is happening?

When I re confronted the bar owner on the starting amounts in the bags she confirmed the $125 and the catering was donated. So my sister stole my benefit money from me. STOLE. Right before my eyes, and I let her. When I asked if I could drop off the money to her son, she said but don't tell them it's from you, tell them it's from me.

Disappointed with the way her first benefit turned out, or didn't get enough of my money, my sister planned another benefit for 8 months down the road.

This time I was in the middle of filling for BR so everything I collected had to go to a special account. But again there was some foul play as I shouldn't have trusted her in the first place. But whatever. So it comes down to this were at the final count and I told her to put $200 aside in an envelope so I can make my child support payment. I go to pick the rest up and she gives me a figure of $2400. I count it. $1700. She pulls out her book of things that had to be paid back just like before and shes like oh, here's the mistake, and hands me the money and I count it. $1900. ??????She tries figuring it out and says well it must be all. Then hands me an envelope thick with ones saying it's the $200 you wanted put aside.

I go to the bank and deposit the $1900 in the one account and open the envelope only to find $100. She did it to me again. When I confronted her on it, she said, "I don't know where my brain was at".

While I was in the hospital I was incoherent if you will, I would say things but not remember them. This got me in trouble. Take for instance the current situation sister upon sister which I only added fuel the flame and logs were already there. When my sister L came to visit me in the Hospital, I was upset because she and my brothers S and J were the only ones to come up other than my immediate family. This means my Dad and my sister M which is the sister so highly mentioned above..

While visiting I told the stories of Sister M and how she stole the money from me from the benefit. How I was disappointed how neither of them took the time to come up to see me or call me. I was only 40 minutes away, right down the major highway.

Well...this lite the fuse on sister L. It was that Sat Dec 22nd and she drove straight to Dads house where they were having a Christmas party, that she didn't even get an invite to. She went right up to Dad and handed the phone and started to yell at him for not calling me or seeing me and how I could have died. Sister M comes bursting in (that's what I hear) and oh boy verbal diarrhea everywhere. Then it happens...sister M punches sister L. sister L leaves, sister M chases after her yelling and pounding on her car. Sister L finds it hard to come around when sister M is here, when she does they usually get involved in some type of argument.

Brothers S, and J have their own issues many of the same with Dad and sister M, that's why they chose not to come around here. And I don't blame them. If I had a way out, I wouldn't come back either knowing what I know.

So, March 2014. I have multiple seizures a day. I am hospitalized during that week I have an MRI and they find another Brain mass on the right side of my head this time. Radical procedures are warrented. We begin Infusion Chemotherapy with the addition of oral medication. Along with the treatment of my seizures I remain hospitalized for the next few days, again no visitors.

I am released from the hospital, not to return to work, but to go home. Chemo infusions every two weeks. Remember My work does not have short term disability. This does not qualify for SSI. Cannot qualify for Unemployment because technically not terminated. So for the last 8 MONTHS I have been a burden on all my family and friends. 8 Months!!!

There are some family members that cannot help for whatever reasons and that's okay, just respond when I call or text. I feel like (and I know this is true) that I have lost that bond, that family bond just because you can't answer a text? It's okay if you can't help I understand, but don't leave me hanging. I need to ask everyone I know which isn't a lot nowadays.

My father, like I said before hates me. This man will go out of his way to do anything for sister M. sister M is taking advantage of him. I am sure you have figured this out by now. This is why none of the other brother and sisters come around is because of sister M. When they get dad alone they can't stand when he praises sister M because they know she is taking advantage of him, and he can't see it.

So why doesn't any one say anything? they've tried. Sister L was told to her face in front of her boyfriend, "you're not my daughter anymore", others have also tried and failed. And then...me, what do I say? Do I try? No. I have no where to go after this, no where to live. I am actually stuck, afraid not only for the verbal abuse he gives me on a daily basis, but that moment when he says "Pack your things and get out." I'm afraid for my son, where will he live when he's with me? If it was just me, fine, I could curl up and die peacefully under a rock somewhere, but it's not.

Sister M "acts" like she runs her own kitchen and catering business. She has more hands helping her or doing for her that she is able to take most nights off, "to get things done." She rents out kitchen space is her gimmick. Already she has been asked to leave from two different establishments, one being the owner of the bar where we did the benefit, remember the family friend? Wonder what happened there?


She doesn't make anything fresh, it's all frozen. She gets food catered in from other places and calls it her own. Shes never in the black. So to get by she has been telling my dad that once she is on her feet and rolling, she will start paying him back, but she needs him to help her up front. so for the past 6 weeks my dad and sister M have been spending between $500 and $900 on foo and grocery items for her kitchen.

This is sad in a few ways...one of the agreements for me moving in here in 2007 was for me to get my own groceries. Which I have ever since. Now I rely on the food pantry once a month and $112 food share for my son and my self (food share started last month) Sister M gets her groceries threw dad. During these last few weeks dad has not been able to get to the store or at least not buy the stuff that he enjoys to eat. Rally SAD!

So my old reliable, 1998 Dodge Dakota pickup has been on the road since I bought it in 2001. I had 1 major change and that was the Tranny. That's it. So while everyone elses vehicle is dying around me I'm still going, in fact I am the one they call for a ride, haha. But, for the last two months I have been nursing a sick starter. Wednesday it finally died. My brother S is a mechanic at a garage, he can get a starter for $50 and change. when I went to ask my dad for the $50 he shut me down before I could say it, mentioning that he had to help sister M out again.

This is the tip of the ice burgh that I wanted to share and vent before I popped. I do have many more unreal stories about my life that I just cannot believe all this could or should happen to one person.

I made an effort to keep this clean anonymous.

J.