Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hi All. I just joined this group today. I'm looking for some advice or some light shed on my situation.
My guy suffers from depression. We're in a long distance relationship. We've known each other for a year, started as friends, and then became intimate. I truly love this man. We've met each other twice for long weekends. Last time was in October. I am hoping to see him at the end of March, but he's "afraid". I know he loves me, there's no question there. He tells me that he's afraid of alot of things. I'm trying to be understanding. I suffer from depression, not as severe. Mine is more situational. Anyways, he told me about his depression back in November, and have not seen him since he's told me. I want to give him a hug in the worst way, and be there for him, but the distance prevents that. He says he wants to see me, yet is "afraid" to. I'm trying to understand. We talk several times a day and on instant messanger at night. No, he's not secretly married, etc. He's suffered alot the last 4 years or so. Divorce, loss of his daughter in a tragic car wreck, lost his mom and 2 family pets that were very dear to him. I think it would be a good idea to see each other. Honestly, we had a wonderful time when we were together, we laughed, talked, enjoyed each other's company. How can I get him to see that he deserves to be happy and that maybe a weekend getaway might help....even if just a little. I know for me a hug can do wonders at time. I'm not saying I can fix anything. But I want him to know that I'm here for him. Any responses, advice would be much appreciated. I'm really trying to be patient, just some days are harder than others!
My guy suffers from depression. We're in a long distance relationship. We've known each other for a year, started as friends, and then became intimate. I truly love this man. We've met each other twice for long weekends. Last time was in October. I am hoping to see him at the end of March, but he's "afraid". I know he loves me, there's no question there. He tells me that he's afraid of alot of things. I'm trying to be understanding. I suffer from depression, not as severe. Mine is more situational. Anyways, he told me about his depression back in November, and have not seen him since he's told me. I want to give him a hug in the worst way, and be there for him, but the distance prevents that. He says he wants to see me, yet is "afraid" to. I'm trying to understand. We talk several times a day and on instant messanger at night. No, he's not secretly married, etc. He's suffered alot the last 4 years or so. Divorce, loss of his daughter in a tragic car wreck, lost his mom and 2 family pets that were very dear to him. I think it would be a good idea to see each other. Honestly, we had a wonderful time when we were together, we laughed, talked, enjoyed each other's company. How can I get him to see that he deserves to be happy and that maybe a weekend getaway might help....even if just a little. I know for me a hug can do wonders at time. I'm not saying I can fix anything. But I want him to know that I'm here for him. Any responses, advice would be much appreciated. I'm really trying to be patient, just some days are harder than others!
Is he receiving treatment? If not maybe you can talk to him about getting some help. If he is receiving treatment, I suggest being patient. I'm sure this is hard on you but I'll bet when he's feeling better, he'll want to get together.
Welcome to the daily strength family..Glad to meet.
You asked for either 1)advice or 2)light to be shed on the situation.
[smile] I'll give my best help to you with #2.
I read what you express fully. And it's a joy and delight to love another. It truly is.
Given your guy suffers from depression and considering he has been through alot in the past 4 years and having experience loss, as with matters of our life and in this respects..TIME, and sufficient amount of time is needed for him to be healed and renewed in body and mind.
You pointed out he's "afraid" and while it is important to pay attention to what he is feeling and the emotion that is having somewhat of a controlling effect on him...Keep in mind..you don't want to rush him into a relationship.
You cannot want for him what he don't want as yet nor strongly desire at this point in time. To do such, you will only be setting yourself up for disappoinment, or the common term use 'heartbreak'.
Which can seriously put the both of you to feel more depressed.
While there is much to think, ponder, consider and ask questions about. By him being "afraid" it is a sure sign he is not ready or fully fit for the steps you are likely wanting to initiate further with him.
So now you either continue on the path you are on already..talking and reaching out to each other through phone/IM..OR if he truly wants you and him to see each other. How about you go to him? Assure him no pressure..no expectations. Or, again express your desires and what is it you want to come about between the two of you and let him know you want honest answers.....
Remember, sometimes...the way you want to be with him and given he says he loves you..is not always the same.
Take time and assess what you bring to the realationship with him, like he with you..and you will unlock the answers you are in limbo about.
[Hugs and Love]