I need an in person friend to hang out with for like a couple hours a month. I'm not asking for that here, just saying and i need that. i need someone to help me to yard work and go to the store when i'm too tired. i don't wnat to deal with paying service peope that for that. i have had terrible experiences with that. service people being unreliable, criminal, not showing up, doing pooor work,etc.
i remember when i wasyounger i lived in a family. i wasn't great but it was so much better to not to be all along in so many ways. duties were shared. people just don't do well alone for the most part. i am a loner. very shy and do like my alone time but i need a little bit of human contact here and there that i don't have to pay for. i think we all do.
i wish it wasn't so hard to trust people and to make a friend. there have been people in my life who i thought were my friends who stabbed me in the back. i just had a dream last night of a girl that i had been sort of friends with at work who is no longer there and i thought of calling her but she was also mean to me too. i was on the fence about it. last night i hd a dream that i approached her to talk and she shot me through the neck.
animals are great but that don't live that long and they can't help you rake up the leaves. there are studies that people who are married are generally healhty and live longer. i know i lived with this man who as pretty shitty for a couple years and my life was easier then, we split the rent, i had sex once in awhile, i had companionship. it wasn't great but there are just so many benefits to having another human around.
i know sometimes it's really bad and it's not worth it. i'm not even looking for a relationshep. just a good, nice friend to help me out once in awhile. to pick me up from a doctor's appointment, to help me rake the lawn and maybe to go to lunch with once a month. i'm probalby too shitty of a person for friendship anyway.
i'm not asking anyone on here to do this, i'm just venting and feeling lonely. thanks for listening.
When I'm not fighting to survive and struggling and suffering the emptiness is more obvious. My life is so empty. I don't want to keep going. I've been alone most of my life. like 30 plus years. what is the point of an existence
Anxiety builds up as the day goes on. I am convinced that I am not going to sleep and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Taking 1 mil Lorazapam but not helping. Benadryl seems to freak me out. Any suggestions?