Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Life has been hell these last few months but it's partially my fault my depression has been really bad I bought sleeping piss and a bottle of ibuprofen and mixed them together I didn't take them obviously but I have never been that close to killing myself before I keep them with me just in case I think one of the main things that has stopped me is the fear of not knowing what happens when you die
you can change where you live, what you do for a living, all your friends, even the way you look at the world, so much that when youre done, youre a completely different person... a happier person
i know, ive done it
it was one of the hardest things i ever did in my life, but i changed who i was completely... i'll try to quickly tell the story, sorry that im prolly gonna fail at keeping it short
when i was a kid i was a violent drug addict and dealer... i was a thief and a liar and i really believed that life was a game and my victims were at fault for LETTING me steal from them or addict them to the drugs i stole or believing my lies or whatever
then one day, my mom (God rest her soul) got put in the hospital... we thought she'd had a stroke (she didnt, she was better in a couple weeks, but at the time, we thought she was going to die) and instead of using her car to go visit her, i took it downtown and got high
3 days later, i finally realized i hadnt even gone to go see my mom... i didnt know if she was alive or dead... and i finally had my moment of clarity... i realized what a horrible person i was... and became commited to changing the person i was
i went and saw my mom, who said nothing about me being gone for 3 days... and after that i cleaned up... i got off the drugs, i stopped selling them, i dumped my entire circle of friends, i stopped stealing, i stopped lieing, and i forced myself to become a better person
im not saying im all that great a person now, but im a hell of a lot better than i used to be... i am NOT that person anymore
that was 23 years ago
am i happy? not really... i still suffer from depression and anxioty and a whole list of constant aches and pains that'll never go away... but at least i know im not that person anymore... people who know me now are usually glad they do, which was hard to get used to
but at least im at a clean starting place with the depression now... im not causing it anymore, so maybe i can start fixing it
and im not suicidal anymore
but i really hope it helps, at least a little
please feel free to PM me if you ever need someone to talk to
*hugs*
It must have taken alot of courage and will power. I congratulate you, and your mom too, for having made you what you are.
Depresion never fully leaves us, but at least we learn to survivie with it. That's our victory.
Gentle hugs.