Depression Support Group
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I felt like getting this out there now.
I had just gotten a condo when we met. She bought hers about 6 months later. At the time I bought mine I was very naive. I agreed with the agent that she signed a paper that if within a year I wanted out of the condo, she would buy it back. I had a roommate move in when I bought the condo and he was paying me rent. He moved out about 8 months in. Wife and I at this point had only been seeing each other for around 9 months. I panicked. Without thinking things through I asked her to marry me, thinking that we would move into her place and then I can use the escape clause to get out of my condo. Yada, yada, yada. I messed some things up and I ended up still owning the condo and had it rented but was losing money. I eventually sold it at a much lower price then I bought it for. So my marriage is based on survival and not true love. I do care about her, but don't know if I ever really fell in love with her.
I am living with this guilt and disgust of myself ever since.
I had just gotten a condo when we met. She bought hers about 6 months later. At the time I bought mine I was very naive. I agreed with the agent that she signed a paper that if within a year I wanted out of the condo, she would buy it back. I had a roommate move in when I bought the condo and he was paying me rent. He moved out about 8 months in. Wife and I at this point had only been seeing each other for around 9 months. I panicked. Without thinking things through I asked her to marry me, thinking that we would move into her place and then I can use the escape clause to get out of my condo. Yada, yada, yada. I messed some things up and I ended up still owning the condo and had it rented but was losing money. I eventually sold it at a much lower price then I bought it for. So my marriage is based on survival and not true love. I do care about her, but don't know if I ever really fell in love with her.
I am living with this guilt and disgust of myself ever since.
Do you like her? I would say you most likely do or you would not have ever posed the question.
So now why do you fret over little things...?
You see liking some one is way more important than loving them as loving them comes later. TRUE LOVE is a myth as far as I can see because our, at least my recollection of it is based on what other people think and say.
Give it a whirl this marriage you speak of, see where it goes because love does grow out of friendship and you are already on that journey.
And, all you love birds can flame me all you want but love is an acronym which is:
Let
Others
Volunteer
Emotions
And, as you can see there is tears in that definition though it is not spelled the same.
We have been married for 22 years. We have 2 kids. One is married and the other is in college. I have thought of divorce many times, but did not want to break up the family for the kids sake. Now that they are almost both on their own, I still am not sure what to do as financially I would be struggling even more due to CC debts and underwater mortgage.
Having grown children, no child support to pay, if you have some income, you could probably manage. If you think either one of you would be happier or better off without the other, that would be something to consider.