Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
every relationship i have with people is shallow and meaningless. i would rather be alone than be miserable around others. but i hate being alone, it hurts and is unhealthy. i hate myself. the way i write and think and relate and can't figure things out and am too soft, my fat body, nothing works. i fantasize so much about death. i always pretend it's wonderful and peaceful and i love to think of not doing anything anymore. not being rejected anymore or feeling desperate. i'm sick of my life. i'm surprised i've survived this long. sometimes i wonder why my life has turned out so bad but then again, what does it even matter. this is the way it is. i'm tired of fighting all the time just to survive and be miserable.
with your life is
NEVER the answer though. We're all put on this earth for a reason. Sometimes we just have to,search for it. I've had to search for my purpose a lot, so I understand. I'm here if you need to talk. God bless.
Sometimes it helps going on dates with yourself. As corny as it sounds, you may find joy in spending time with yourself. Take yourself to a movie and enjoy your own commentary or thoughts, read book just because you want to, and when doing these things try to focus on the fact that you want to. Do things you enjoy doing by yourself and you may fall in love with your presence all over again. I personally struggled with feeling burdensome to other s and from that feeling stemmed a chasm in my relationships that left most of them feeling meaningless. It was that distance that forced me to spend time with myself and though i absolutely hated it at first, and felt as though I was imprisoned by my own company, I slowly began finding ways to enjoy my time. Little by little, it gets better. Things sound really stressful on your end. It sounds like it feels like there's no hope or happiness anywhere to be found and we all feel that way sometimes. It may feel good to hold on to joy where you can find it. Whether it be in a funny movie, or your favourite ice cream place or even in your favourite recipe. Search for joy in the midst of your sadness and cling to it like a raft. KNow that you deserve happiness and even if you can't find it from anyone else in your relationships, know that you can find it within yourself. I also think you're dealing with a lot of things right now and it sounds like it's been really hard. Have you ever considered talking to someone? I think it may help you. I hope this helps and know that I'm rooting for you. Good luck.