i'm sorry. :( sometimes it takes a few tries before people can find the right therapist or counselor. if you aren't getting anything out of your therapy sessions you should ask to talk to someone else because sometimes personalities just don't mesh well. also know that medication can take a while to start being effective so try to give it time. in the meantime, try not to beat yourself up too much about the paper. you have been through an ordeal and are healing right now. focus on that for the moment. all of the school stuff can be made up for later.

Hey Legendary Phil, (love that name by the way)
First of all life is more than just GPA's and keeping people around you happy. School will end and you will then move on with another phase in your life. Know that you are the decision maker of your life, you have power to do anything with your life. Make a list of beliefs and morals you want to stand by. Make a creed for yourself and make a ritual that will make this important for you. Learn about yourself, about your past and your parents' parents and their parents before them. Learn their struggles and the struggles of your people what ever they may be and know that their willingness to keep going is what created you. You will see and feel very confident and proud when you find your history. Write it down somewhere, keep a box of things that define you. Your first dollar, your first shoes if your parents have them, a picture of you as a child, anything that is important to you, put it in that box with your creed and every day come and reflect on this box, on who YOU are. Be strong and know that life is a challenge, there are ups and downs and in betweens but Phil is who decides who Phil is. Call yourself by your full name. Phillip. You are Phillip and you succumb to nothing but positivity. Go on youtube and every morning listen to positive affirmations on your headphones. If you need advice or anything in particular let me know man, my name is Ramon.

Thanks you guys :)

Hi Legendary Phil! I'm sorry you're going through this. The stress of school is incredible! It's not clear from your post, but it sounds like you are in high school? I was a major overachiever when I was younger, but it took me a while to realize that that ambition can really detract from your wellness. I have several relatives with BPD, and most of them have found a good balance of medication and lifestyle. The one thing that they have in common is that they are all highly intelligent, fascinating people who have found what works for them. Doing well in school does not mean that someone is okay, although parents seem to use this as a barometer for their child's wellbeing. Finding a way of life that works for you will be a journey, and you are a unique person, so your life probably won't look like what you thought an "ordinary" life would be. That's okay though, because you're not ordinary, you're legendary!