I have never posted on one of these before and don't really know what to say but I guess I'll just give it a go and see what happens. I have been feeling rather down for a while, a long while actually. If I try to remember when I started having breakdowns I would say it was when I was about 17. I'm not even sure if they are true breakdowns but all I know is sometimes I cannot even get the energy to move. When it started I would come home and lay on the couch and cry, truly cry. This would happen once or twice a month and they have become more frequent. I am 22 now and the last year has been especially bad. I'm sure this is all very cliche but cliches are cliches because they are true. I have never been in a relationship and see no sign of changes there, I was never a star athlete or student in fact I will soon be a 5th year senior in college which I suppose isn't that bad but all in all when I look at my life I always think that I'm surrounded by people that are doing things I wish I could be. Mainly my friends, when I hang out with them the topic always seems to move to girls, traveling, college stories and the future. I was always the commuter type student so have never really lived the "college life" and as far as the future goes I can't really say there's anything on the horizon. I am one year away from graduating with a degree in a field I have lost interest in and feel to ashamed to tell my friends and family because they have supported me for so long. I apologize if this has turned into a poor me speech but writing this down has already started making me feel better. These are all things I wish I could tell to my friends and family face to face but I'm just not ready. I'm glad I found this website and I hope I can read and maybe even help some of you someday.
Posts You May Be Interested In
My dad died suddenly, unexpectedly, 4 weeks ago. We were super close. Everyone keeps saying to allow myself to "feel" my feelings. That it gets easier with time. I've gone through shock, disbeleif, denial, ANGER (SO MUCH anger) and just complete heartbreak. I returned to work, in a very stressful field 3 weeks ago. Most days I can hold it together, at least in front of people at work. Today I...
Mom living with me. Family stress all around. Sister won't give me a break. She's a shit. Mom doesn't want to go to nursing home and I don't want here there either. This is so brutal. I'm on the verge of losing my job. Have gained about 15 pounds over last couple months and I'm already obese. No privacy or respect.Just feel like giving up. I am giving up. It's not a decision...