I have never posted on one of these before and don't really know what to say but I guess I'll just give it a go and see what happens. I have been feeling rather down for a while, a long while actually. If I try to remember when I started having breakdowns I would say it was when I was about 17. I'm not even sure if they are true breakdowns but all I know is sometimes I cannot even get the energy to move. When it started I would come home and lay on the couch and cry, truly cry. This would happen once or twice a month and they have become more frequent. I am 22 now and the last year has been especially bad. I'm sure this is all very cliche but cliches are cliches because they are true. I have never been in a relationship and see no sign of changes there, I was never a star athlete or student in fact I will soon be a 5th year senior in college which I suppose isn't that bad but all in all when I look at my life I always think that I'm surrounded by people that are doing things I wish I could be. Mainly my friends, when I hang out with them the topic always seems to move to girls, traveling, college stories and the future. I was always the commuter type student so have never really lived the "college life" and as far as the future goes I can't really say there's anything on the horizon. I am one year away from graduating with a degree in a field I have lost interest in and feel to ashamed to tell my friends and family because they have supported me for so long. I apologize if this has turned into a poor me speech but writing this down has already started making me feel better. These are all things I wish I could tell to my friends and family face to face but I'm just not ready. I'm glad I found this website and I hope I can read and maybe even help some of you someday.
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