I dont think so, it is not constructive, it is just criticism. How you dress is up to you, no-one else. They dont like it? Tough, they are not wearing it.
Wear what ever you feel comfortable in.
There are uniforms for specific situations. Is it really necessary to dress up to see the bank manager?

His thoughts are not your business. Your thoughts are your business.

What you think is of vastly more significance than what father thinks.

After all, you have to live with and think your thoughts.\

So think well of yourself today. It is just as easy as thinking badly of yourself, and it will make you feel better too.

God in me sees God in you. Be well.

Thanks guys, so what do I say when he keeps on using this new catch phrase? Do I tell him to tone it down? I am finding it difficult now as I am depressed to let it roll over my back and ignore it.

He's complaining you are too clean and put together? Huh, I guess one really CAN complain about anything. lol. Just be yourself, as you are.

When I'm standing in lines with people I see all KINDS of things. Bad things. Things that make me think some folks don't have mirrors in their houses. I'm not trying to be mean, but yikes....they could have tried. Buying way more than I can afford and they can't even wash the stains out? ew ew ew.

I think you are possibly not so old and you are still finding your own way. I would listen and look and you will come to your own decision and then you will feel comfortable about it.Parents often push from the best of intentions but it is sometimes not very tactful or has the opposite effect. Bren :)

what parent ever completely approves of what their children wear? grown up or otherwise! now if you turn up sloopy to a job interview that may be a reason to complain. otherwise, be comfortable. thre are people who live around here who go to the supermarket in their pyjamas, whatever!

If your dad speaks to you about your attire in a casual way, and you are living with him, why not try to keep the relationship a pleasant one and respond in a casual way? You are sensitive about what his casual remarks are concerning your dress style. Think of a way to communicate to him that you wish to dress in your style and would appreciate it if he would support your choice (or whatever is the best words for you to use to communicate with him with) He's your dad - hopefully you know how to keep the conversation a "casual" one and all will be well between the two of you. He's not berrating you-just making a casual conversation.

I am more concerned about the panick attacks. Are you thinking the two are related?

Hi all and Sandivg,

Yeah I think that they are related. I didn't like the comment when I was having lunch with him today. Yesterday I had a huge panick attack as well. Yesterday I was at the bank and I was more sharp (with my thoughts) than I was today so comparing yesterday and today I panicked that my mood deteriorated. But I think that the trigger was my dad's comment and lookling what people are wearing.

I am going down on Klonopin so my anxiety might be a little more pronounced but I don't think it is affecting me much. I hate panick attacks they are scary and when I am not aware of my thoughts they do their damage while I am unware of them and then I don't understand when my mood plummets. They are frustrating.

Panic attacks can be so frightening - I hate them .. is there a nice way you can tell your Dad that his comment upset you so much? I am concerned that if you take a screw you attitude it would erode your relationship with him..

does he know and understand about your illness?

If this one casual comment has this effect on you, don't you think others will as well? So, my point is, rather than just dealing with just this one, look at the bigger picture and try to establish a way that the two of you can communicate with him understanding that you are not feeling well at this time and any criticism is difficult for you to handle, because if he has one that is more than casual, then what would happen then?

I'm just trying to help, not make your life more complicated. If you don't want to do any of this, just ignore it.

Good luck to you!

I think it's so sad that parents just don't realize the affect their words can have on their children. As far as that goes people don't realize the impact their words have on other people but parents IMHO are the worst offenders. They just don't get it.

Just remember there is nothing wrong with the way you dress. The problem lies with your dad. He's insensitive. Forgive me if I've offended you or make you feel as though you want to protect him from my criticism.

Just keep saying to yourself, 'I look just fine." I have no doubt you do. I mean if there were others in the bank that you considered poorly dressed than I'm sure your appearance was just fine.

BTW don't prisoners wear orange? My first thought was you must have been dressed in all orange or something. lol

Good for you for having managed your panic attack so well in the bank. Deep breaths and good memories. I like to remember my granddaughter's huge big smile every time she saw when she was a baby.

Sending hugs.

Ul

Hi Sandivg,

Trust me I have tried everything with my dad to no avail. He has really crushed me so many times before and it was horrible. It is no surprise I am suicidal. He has offended me so many times that I would leave the house crying and then come back and try to talk to him. I am doing a huge job trying to reach him but it is just sad. The bad thing too is that he is doing the same thing with my sister right now. She is younger than me and she is having issues with her university and her love life and he is just not responding to her and humiliating her. My mom does that too with my sister. At least my mom with me is loving and when we get into an argument we kiss and make up. I feel sad for my sister that she is going through all this because it is in their hand to do something about it.

The last act of rebeliion for me was to go to Canada and not come back to Jordan where I am residing now and was born. They forced me to go there and I stayed there for a year. It was a tough year and I became nostalgic to Jordan and I ended up back home upon the request of my mom. It has been hell. Now I have increased my meds and for now I am in a good mood but I am very wary of the time when the effect of the meds will subside and I havn't done any meaningful therapy and made peace with my past. On another note, I don't even know if someone can get back from a suicidal state, which I was for the past year and a half, to feeling ok. Can someone reconcile with their past when they have seen the dark abyss of suicidality. I am very skeptical about it and I get triggered from anything now. It is pretty tough.

UI--- yeah I was not wearing an orange jump suit not even anything orange :) I just feel that it is just a catch phrase that he finds serves some kind of purpose for him.

Thanks guys