Finally got blood work done on my cat. her kidneys are failing.  they didn't want to do iv because she isn't totally tame and they thought it would be too hard on her.  she is at home now resting comfortably but she is not expected to live long, like days.  i am extremely depressed about this.  i want to do something for her but i don't think she is feeling well enough for treament plus she has really high kidney values.  i am really scared.  i have been through this many times and it is awful.  i called in sick to work again today which is really bad. i thought she was going to die while i was at work plus i got very little sleep last night.  just couldn't handle going in.  i have been calling in a lot and have like 3 days of leave left for the whole year.  i feel very sad.  i love my cats.  they are my whole world.  yesterday she ate and drank.  today she hasn't so far.  i don't want to bother her right now with it while she is sleeping.  i don't know what else to say.  i've always thought that depression wasn't quite the right word for what people go through emotionally.  it's more like despair and panic.  i don't know.  i feel like i've been through too much and i am just so tired.  it's hard to rally anymore.  or really believe in hope.  to see beauty and love die, i don't want to see that anymore.