Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
A year ago today, my brother passed away. He was 40. He suffered from depression but never admitted it, never treated it, just drank heavily. The last time I saw him, mid-July, he was horribly jaundiced. He blamed it on his gall bladder and a vitamin D deficiency. We all knew better...but we didn't address it. Maybe all of us were in denial. I know we all carry a great amount of guilt for not trying to intervene, though I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have made a difference.
He was so sick for the last few weeks. His body was shutting down, everything was letting go. My mom and I opened the door to his bathroom for the first time a few weeks ago to start tackling the mess. I know, leaving it for almost a year is pretty gross, but it's not easy to face.
He was 7 1/2 years older than me, so we weren't exactly close, but we always got along. When I was a kid, he was the coolest guy I knew. I listened to the music he listened to, wanted to be involved in what he was interested in. His friends always said I was a cool little sister. I completely idolized him. I don't think he ever realized that. As we got older, we both changed, but still had similarities. I looked at some pictures of myself in high school, it's amazing how some of my expressions looked exactly like him.
I miss him terribly. I have so many regrets about not spending more time with him, and especially not trying to help when it became obvious that his drinking was a huge problem. In a way, I think he wanted to go, but not in a blatant, immediate way. The timing was pretty interesting, his beloved dog of 18 or so years died about 3 months before he did. It was like he felt he had nothing to stick around for. If only he knew that we needed him too.
He was so sick for the last few weeks. His body was shutting down, everything was letting go. My mom and I opened the door to his bathroom for the first time a few weeks ago to start tackling the mess. I know, leaving it for almost a year is pretty gross, but it's not easy to face.
He was 7 1/2 years older than me, so we weren't exactly close, but we always got along. When I was a kid, he was the coolest guy I knew. I listened to the music he listened to, wanted to be involved in what he was interested in. His friends always said I was a cool little sister. I completely idolized him. I don't think he ever realized that. As we got older, we both changed, but still had similarities. I looked at some pictures of myself in high school, it's amazing how some of my expressions looked exactly like him.
I miss him terribly. I have so many regrets about not spending more time with him, and especially not trying to help when it became obvious that his drinking was a huge problem. In a way, I think he wanted to go, but not in a blatant, immediate way. The timing was pretty interesting, his beloved dog of 18 or so years died about 3 months before he did. It was like he felt he had nothing to stick around for. If only he knew that we needed him too.
There is a bereavement group here, I found a lot of comfort there when my sister died suddenly. If you are still processing his loss you might want to give that group a try.
Gentle hugs
Anyway, thank you all for your thoughts and kindness. That's why I come here.