Not to all challenges but sometimes I just get overwhelmed with stuff (and, really, it's just everyday stuff, nothing extensive) that my brain is just like "if you killed yourself you wouldn't have to worry about that" (strange thought because I don't believe life ends after death... it's kind of complicated though). I have NO intention of doing that but that's what I think. It's like my brain is just like "well life is too complicated to figure out so just give up" (been having thoughts like this for probably about 5 years now). It's kind of ridiculous. It's not like I don't fight the thoughts, I have been more recently doing that in the past I just kind of allowed them to be. But it's like... any amount of stress and that starts to go through my mind. Something goes wrong at work. I start worrying about organizing things for taxes. Those are just some recent examples. I think what most people don't understand is that it's not that I'm necessarily intentionally just going to that- it's because my brain has taught itself to do that, for whatever reason, so it just does. It was better when I was taking this one anxiety reducing medication but I stopped because it was interfering with my ability to function for the hour or two after taking it due to derealization and trouble thinking straight... ANYWAY, the point of this is, do any of you think this way automatically? I hope that made sense... Again I have no intention to harm myself, but I just wanted to share my experiences in hopes that someone out there might get it?