I have a friend of the family that's always seems to be happy but very down to earth. So it doesn't effect me as much as some people that seem to just take over and make you feel like crap for being unhappy.

If there's UP With People there should be Down With People too.

The crisis I am working at surviving often reaches such intensity that I now have severe PTSD and it basically does not allow me to feel much of anything at times. Odd and I'm still adjusting to it but I now understand it for the lifesaving condition it can be at times.

People being happy, even with my coping with such crisis, has never caused me to resent them. Sadly, they have probably had crises to endure or will experience a crisis at sometime in their lives. I suppose I wish we all cared more for one another in this world where those that are in severe crisis were not left to survive it without needed help - but so is life I now know.

I hope you are soon feeling better.

Gentle ((hugs))
:-) Patricia

They don't piss me off but I do find myself thinking "I wish I was like you and had nothing to be upset/worried about" but then I think - hang on you've got no idea what they're actually thinking. They could be putting on a front just as much as I am.

Yeah, I feel more frustrated than anything; if it's true happiness on their part - good for them...if they are camouflaging their misery, then I wish they could teach me some of their tricks...

The thing with me is I work in retail and obviously with it being Christmas there are lots of customers asking me where things are so I'm getting all these happy people looking forward to Christmas I have to interact with and I have to put this happy attitude on too and in my head I'm like "This is so false".
It's a really unpleasant feeling being depressed and then putting on this act on the outside that I'm happy.

It sometimes seems that I am always putting on a "happy" face. You know, the fake it til you make it crap. It was all I could do to send out cards and this year, they will all be late. Who cares? I'm dreading wrapping the presents. Thank God my family is small and we don't have to go to any "functions."

You are not a loser. It seems to me that you, just last week, reminded me I'm not a loser. As far as Christmas, this too shall pass!