I agree negative thinking is an addiction that's hard to let go of. But don't beat yourself up for not "getting on with life." That will keep you stuck. I don't know what the answer is, but I think infinite gentleness and patience with yourself and forgiving yourself over and over are important parts of recovery. And try to take baby steps each day to accomplish something small and celebrate it.

I, too, have dark family secrets that I deal with daily. Because of something my daughter went through, i think I'm suffering from depression. And rightfully so. I won't get back on anti depressants though, as they made me feel foggy and groggy. I'm stuck to fight this alone.

But I REFUSE to give up! You're so right.....venting here does help.
The anonymous status is a good safeguard too.

To Ginateresa: if antidepressants make you foggy and groggy have you told your doctor? The grogginess might be an adverse reaction that they consider an allergy and could potentially put u on something different. I had the same issue with Paxil and I got it switched.

Ironic that addiction was mentioned as my therapist told me yesterday that I am practically addicted to thinking negatively about myself. I've lived with that for so long and I'm so used to it that I don't know any other way of being, although I have been trying more lately. I know I'm a good person, but I know I need to be more forgiving of myself and the mistakes I make. I don't know why, but I've always felt the need to take the blame for things, whether it be my parents divorce, being sexually abused by a neighbor when I was kid, or any of the other bad choices I made, and nobody told me any different. I know my depression has affected my marriage and the lives of my children, which is probably part of the reason my wife wants a separation (although she admits to being depressed lately as well). One day at a time, I try to get better. I'd like to think that even though it might be too late to save my marriage, it's not too late to save myself.