Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
When You Cant See
May 26, 2009, Matthew Good
http://www.matthewgood.org/2009/05/when-you-cant-see/
Youve just arrived home. The kids, having gotten home from school a few hours earlier, are going about their usual business. You walk into the kitchen and throw your briefcase on the counter, grabbing a glass out of the cupboard. As you walk towards the fridge to get some orange juice the phone rings, diverting you.
You pick it up. You stand there in stunned silence. The voice on the other end of the line informs you that your wife has been involved in a serious car accident.
You immediately hang up and dial your neighbour. You ask them to watch the kids while you go to the hospital, telling them that youll inform the kids of the situation once you know more. Your neighbour, who youve know for years, is aghast, but assures you that theyll drop everything and come over.
The glass that you had grabbed remains empty on the counter, you grab your keys, get in your car, and drive like a madman.
On the way to the hospital your whole life flashes in front of your eyes the seventeen years of marriage, the night you first kissed her, the look on her face when you asked her to marry you, the tears that filled the corners of her eyes as you were pronounced man and wife. The hard times are forgotten, the good times surging to the forefront of your memory the birth of your children, the vacations, the laughter, those silent moments when you stared at each other in bed at night contented and at ease with yourselves.
You get to the hospital, park in a two-away zone, run into emergency, find the desk, ask where she is, and
you cant see her.
Imagine that. Because that is the reality faced by many gay and lesbian couples in that exact situation. They are not considered immediate family, even if they have been together for decades. At that desk, with the one person that means more to them than anything possibly facing death, they are stopped.
Ive read and heard a great deal about God in my life. If youre of the opinion that Gods will is represented at that desk when a gay or lesbian person is stopped, then what is there to say other than God help you.
May 26, 2009, Matthew Good
http://www.matthewgood.org/2009/05/when-you-cant-see/
Youve just arrived home. The kids, having gotten home from school a few hours earlier, are going about their usual business. You walk into the kitchen and throw your briefcase on the counter, grabbing a glass out of the cupboard. As you walk towards the fridge to get some orange juice the phone rings, diverting you.
You pick it up. You stand there in stunned silence. The voice on the other end of the line informs you that your wife has been involved in a serious car accident.
You immediately hang up and dial your neighbour. You ask them to watch the kids while you go to the hospital, telling them that youll inform the kids of the situation once you know more. Your neighbour, who youve know for years, is aghast, but assures you that theyll drop everything and come over.
The glass that you had grabbed remains empty on the counter, you grab your keys, get in your car, and drive like a madman.
On the way to the hospital your whole life flashes in front of your eyes the seventeen years of marriage, the night you first kissed her, the look on her face when you asked her to marry you, the tears that filled the corners of her eyes as you were pronounced man and wife. The hard times are forgotten, the good times surging to the forefront of your memory the birth of your children, the vacations, the laughter, those silent moments when you stared at each other in bed at night contented and at ease with yourselves.
You get to the hospital, park in a two-away zone, run into emergency, find the desk, ask where she is, and
you cant see her.
Imagine that. Because that is the reality faced by many gay and lesbian couples in that exact situation. They are not considered immediate family, even if they have been together for decades. At that desk, with the one person that means more to them than anything possibly facing death, they are stopped.
Ive read and heard a great deal about God in my life. If youre of the opinion that Gods will is represented at that desk when a gay or lesbian person is stopped, then what is there to say other than God help you.
Back in 2001, my then partner swallowed 60+ Zoloft and 60+ Xanax and some other shit I don't remember. I literally carried her down the stairs (she was about 280 at the time) and put her on the couch so i could call 911 and make sure she didn't stop breathing.
The ambulance came, assessed her and got her stabilized and into the back. I told them I would follow in the car to the hospital. It was a 20-25 minute drive and all I could think of was whether she was dead or alive.
I got to the hospital, I waved one of the EMT's over (we knew her well) and I asked her if she thought she was going to make it. She said she wasn't supposed to give me info, but she pulled me over by the wall and told me I may want to brace myself for the worst.
I walked into the ER and told them at the desk who I was. That's where all fairness and compassion ended. I was told that since I wasn't considered anything more than a friend, that I would have to wait and would not be given the info I asked for. That's when I flipped the fuck out and told them what bullshit it was and called them everything BUT a child of God....I got escorted outside where I lit a cigarette and cried like a baby.
There was a woman sitting on one of the benches there, also smoking a cigarette. I knew she worked for the hospital but didn't know in what capacity. She asked me if I was going to be ok, I told her no and told her what happened. Turns out she was some sort of head of the hospital and she made damn sure I was able to get in (when they had my then partner ready and stable) so I could see her.
It's shocking to me that this country is still so fucking pathetic in this way. We always talk about how "advanced" we are? HA! What a crock.
OK...thank you for letting me vent this here. Thank you for the post hon.
It's so easy for the rest of us to just say "well that sucks, thank god I'm not gay!" and walk away....
But I can't be that person. I used to be... but then I grew up.
no more of this immediate family stuff.
More importantly, though, the fact that homosexual couples are not accorded anywhere NEAR the rights that unmarried common-law heterosexual couples are is unacceptable and needs to be changed....... they NEED to be allowed to marry! And those who choose not to marry, but live common-law, need to be accorded the same rights as similarly partnered straight couples.
The Terri Schiavo case proved that it is also important for straight couples to have such a document. In that case the parents of Terri insisted on any and all means to keep their daughter alive, her husband fought a very long battle to let her die with dignity.