Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hi all. I need some Guide or advice related to my family life and not any medical advice. My family includes husband and I have a son who is 4 yrs old,with my In-laws. My marriage has been struggling for awhile. I am a working woman in software industry. There is a large mixture of things going on, however, lately I feel very depressed related to fights at home
My mother-in-law(MIL) is uneducated. Me and MIL had a fight about food that is prepared at home since 1.5 yrs of my marriage. Actually she is the one who generally cooks food on weekdays & on weekends very often I will also cook for the family. She prepares very spicy food using green chilies. My gastritis problem was becoming a serious. so i ask her to not make food spicy... but she prepared most of the dishes spicy and one or two dishes was made less spicy for the sake of showing it to others. So i started to prepare my food for some time...Some day when i asked that am facing serious problems with my gastritis, she rudely mentioned that she will prepare most of dishes spicy and If i am not Ok i need to prepare my food separately...So from then on I prepared my own food...
She use to separate out the vessels which I use and which she uses...Irritating behavior started increasing day by day.
Some day MIL kept the dish which i had prepared for myself near the Dustbin. This was done to insult me... when i said what she did was not right and the argument started my husband came, when i explained all this he started scolding me back instead of doing the justice. Was really upset, the reason is because, he is the only person who can support me started fight with me... started feeling very lonely and depressed.
Because of our in-laws stuffs, fight between me & my husband has increased...
we were living in a joint family before where our in-laws, our family and Brother-in-law family were living together. MIL had a bad fight with my sister-in-law and after that i got married and entered the joint family. our MIL wanted to separate out probably because she dint want to stay with sister-in-law. she keeps creating problem with me now...
My husband kept quite even after all these :(
I am facing problems with food and her irritating behavior with each & everything...
My mother-in-law(MIL) is uneducated. Me and MIL had a fight about food that is prepared at home since 1.5 yrs of my marriage. Actually she is the one who generally cooks food on weekdays & on weekends very often I will also cook for the family. She prepares very spicy food using green chilies. My gastritis problem was becoming a serious. so i ask her to not make food spicy... but she prepared most of the dishes spicy and one or two dishes was made less spicy for the sake of showing it to others. So i started to prepare my food for some time...Some day when i asked that am facing serious problems with my gastritis, she rudely mentioned that she will prepare most of dishes spicy and If i am not Ok i need to prepare my food separately...So from then on I prepared my own food...
She use to separate out the vessels which I use and which she uses...Irritating behavior started increasing day by day.
Some day MIL kept the dish which i had prepared for myself near the Dustbin. This was done to insult me... when i said what she did was not right and the argument started my husband came, when i explained all this he started scolding me back instead of doing the justice. Was really upset, the reason is because, he is the only person who can support me started fight with me... started feeling very lonely and depressed.
Because of our in-laws stuffs, fight between me & my husband has increased...
we were living in a joint family before where our in-laws, our family and Brother-in-law family were living together. MIL had a bad fight with my sister-in-law and after that i got married and entered the joint family. our MIL wanted to separate out probably because she dint want to stay with sister-in-law. she keeps creating problem with me now...
My husband kept quite even after all these :(
I am facing problems with food and her irritating behavior with each & everything...
Gentle hugs
The conversation does not have to be....I'm sick of your mother messing with my head and my food.
The conversation can be (assuming you have your own living space)....My stomach has really been bothering me....I'm tired after work and as you know we all have been struggling with this food issue.
I would like to buy a small fridge (FYI - they are like 150 bucks)...and put it (in your living space) and cook my meals (and his if that is what you guys do)....at different times...and that this family dinner time is not working out for my health and I think it may make my overall relationship with your Mom more pleasurable.
Of course moving out is the best solution but that is not always possible for families in this economy.
Your a working girl...so I assume you can afford a couple bucks on yourself...another solution for a couple days a week ...is stop at a peaceful restaurant (maybe meet your hubby)...and eat what you want..
Just because you all live together does not mean that you have to LIVE and BREATHE and EAT together....I would manage my own food and schedule and live in my living space as much as possible.
Today,I'm going to get a salad shortly down the street for 4 dollars.
My B/F and I sometimes like the same foods and we eat together.
He had a late night last night..he is sleeping I don't know what he wants to eat...so I'm running to get a salad because that is what I want (I don't work and limited funds)...and when he awakes...he will go to market or we will run run back out to get him a salad as well.
Eating and living all together should not be this difficult or unpleasant. Seems to me that you are buckling to both of them....like a "puppet" I would say..you eat when they want? You try to keep the peace? Stop it and take care of yourself?