I am sorry that you are feeling low. Fighting our own minds is hard.

Is there something that you like doing for YOU? It can be anything, especially if it makes you happy!

Gentle hugs

Love live laugh
Please
Love yourself
Whatever happen you strong and not alone

Sorry you are feeling this way. Please be gentle with yourself. You are dealing with a lot and you can't always make everyone happy. Maybe try making YOU happy for once, you deserve it. hugs

Being afraid to be alone with yourself is a red flag to me, and the cure for it is to be alone with yourself. You have to break through this and come out the other side.

If you're afraid to be alone with yourself it's an indication that you have a lot of unresolved emotions. You've done things you don't want to have to think about, or had things done to you that you don't want to think about. So you avoid putting yourself in the space where you have to think about them.

They build up. They become many. And just as you can rip 300 pages of paper but you can't rip a phone book; after a certain number have accumulated, they seem to gain mass.

If you keep on this way, you will end up a basket case. What you have to do is go to bed, lie there, and just stay in bed for the day. No television. No cellphone. No nothing. Or else go bush. Go into the forest, with your backpack, and be alone with your thoughts.

You have to do what we all used to have to do, and what we all hate. Confront ourselves, accept ourselves, learn from ourselves, understand ourselves. Cry when the tears come, let the pain happen, and let it LEAVE. Right now you won't let it to the surface but it's still in there causing internal damage. You have to express pain. Look at the word express. What does that mean? it means get it out of your body. You have to express pain the way you express milk. And when it's gone you will find you are in a new space, and it's a BETTER space, and you realise you wouldn't have it any other way.

We have to become one with ourselves and be real and not hiding from ourselves. When you manage that, you will be 'up to date' and things will go better. You'll come out with better things to say in public, you'll let yourself down less, if at all. It changes how you are inside, it changes how you relate to others, and it changes how they relate to you.

Thanks for the kind words.

Bridgie101 thank you for some very insightful comments. I think you're right there about a lot.

You don't really want to give up because you posted here, how you felt. By doing so, you took that first step up the ladder and now you have a fear about taking that next step, so I say to you, do not be afraid! Take that step without fear and without judgement but don't stop and think about it, just do it and you will surprise yourself at how strong you really are!

God Bless!

((HUGS)) your doing the best you can in a very difficult situation ,this illness can be crippling and doing basic things can be incredibly hard please be kind and forgiving to yourself :)