My mom would say to me in German but, Ill write it in English. "For every pot there is lid". I am 47 and still have not found anyone....

My fiance passed June 21st . I really believe was my soulmate... I'm so hurt and lost

eh...I really don't know if there is one person out there for everyone, though it does sound nice. I thought I was meant to be with my ex forever, but it didn't work out and I was heartbroken for a long time. It's been several years, and I'm still single.

What I do know, is that there's really nothing wrong with being single. It would be great to meet someone, but in the meantime, the best I can do is to create a life for myself that is as happy and fulfilling as possible - for me this includes therapy, a support group, volunteer work, friends, and simply learning how to enjoy my own company.

Lean in toward what you have versus what you don't have.

Wishing you peace.

It's better to be single than be part of a weak embrace. Some people are together for the wrong reasons.

As I got older, I get more inhibited about letting people into my personal space 24/7. Id like a girlfriend. Also at 47, I estimate my dating age range is 35-50. Also most women at that age have kids already. I don't want the responsibility of children of another union.

Some women never had children. That would be ideal for me.

I hear you Stigmata. I value my personal space far more now that I'm in my 40's than I did when I was younger. It's sacred.

Anna1212...I too doubt that there is one person out there. I think and hope that there are probably many people who could meet the need of being accepted, validated, loved...whatever that might mean. I met my now ex in 1977...I suspect most people on this site were not yet born...and we divorced three years ago, with my starting the divorce process in 2015, after getting six years of sobriety. I was on match.com for a year and a half...yikes...(I did meet many women in their 60's) but now I am quite comfortable going on Meetup hikes as much as I can, trying to meet someone "organically," as some call it. I have tried a bit in AA, but that comes with a bit of risk, trying to get close to people in the same meetings. Although I will turn 70 next year, I have no intention of giving up...the search for love being quite powerful. As a younger friend taught me, "Just keep swimming."

Hello Anna,
I’m very sorry you feel this way. I have a friend, she’s divorced for years and she’s also praying for a husband. Five years ago, at the age of 60, she got married again.

I pray you will have your heart’s desire and you will have peace as you wait.
Please keep us posted. God bless.

Though I've never met Stigmata's mom,(lol) I also heard the "lid for every pot" but he is also right about being single as opposed to unhappily married. I have been married for almost 17 years (but the last 12 have been very unhappily)

We all have that need you speak of... to belong, be heard and cared about. The thing is, you need to realize that you are just as important and have your strengths , weaknesses, wants and needs just like the rest of us. Like Sonny said... in the meantime create a life that is happy and fulfilling on your own... hobbies, meet up groups to get together with others, volunteer, anything you think will help to strengthen yourself and your belief in yourself.

PS I have to thank you . As I type this message to you, I realize again that I need to also take my own advice. I have spent my life (and entire marriage) giving and doing for others (But getting virtually nothing back.) Is very hard to remain in a one sided relationship,


Hugs, KIm

Thank you all. I am touched by your responses. It's all good advice and makes me feel comforted. I agree about leaning in to what you have and I like the line about "it's better to be single than part of a weak embrace". all of your responses were right on Sometimes I wonder if what we have is what was meant to be for us for some reason or another that we are not aware of and just accepting what is the best thing to do, even if our situation seems unfair or "not normal" even as we continue to try I mean, just to accept what is. It's hard to do though. thank you all again!

I have a friend who tells me that when we tell ourselves this is all there is and we just give up , that is all we will ever find. He said when he really wants something, he tries to visualize and believe that change will occur. But he does truly have faith.

I have discovered throughout my life that He does have a plan for us and (while I don't always understand the reasoning at the time) eventually I do come to realize why. It is like all the things I have been through and all the people I have come in contact with has each had something to share... another piece of the puzzle. And as you follow the clues and begin your journey, may you find some of the peace and contentment as your life does become your own.