Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
My grandma has been gone for 10 1/2 months. I am still as depressed about it as the day she passed. The hardest thing is my soon to be ex doesn't care. Which is one of the reasons he's soon to be an ex. I have to live in the same house for now due to a few reasons but the other night when I posted on here he came in the room and wanted to know what I was writing about because i was crying while I was writing it so I told him i was writing about my grandma and his exact words were "is that all you think about" I mean can you be any meaner? But he wonders why our marriage is over after 17 years. This is only a small example of the mean things he says or does.
I am glad you are being rid of that cruel harsh POS. We have talked at lengths about this and you know my thoughts on the matter. I just hope the adjustment period goes well after being married for so long. If you ever need to talk you know I am around
Thanks so much and I am sorry your going thru this also. I am sorry that your wife is already taking your kids around another man for overnights thats kind of disrespectful and she shouldnt be doing that until she is sure that this is the person she intends to be with permanently. Kids need stability always and especially during a time like this and going from guy to guy is not going to help that, I know when my parents divorced my mom did exactly that and I had zero respect for her. I understand what you mean about the mistakes you have made because I realize my mistakes also. I didnt realize at first that I was allowing him to manipulate me but even after I did i let it continue. Good luck with your situation and thanks for your kind words.
@NYerinWI
Your always there with a "shoulder to cry on" lol. Thanks for always listening I really appreciate it.
Many men are told to just tough it up and carry on with life, so they aren't really allowed to grieve either and have to stuff their feelings. So they expect others to do the same. Or they haven't experienced grief yet to that depth. Or they have felt that kind of pain and don't know what to do with it so they shut it off and shut down.
I've even had women tell me rude things when I was in deep grief. Not everyone knows how to be supportive. Some people want to avoid the topic if death for various reasons. Maybe they haven't experienced that kind of loss or the loss of someone very dear yet.
Men and women are totally different in many ways and sometimes those differences are totally misinterpreted and become sore spots of irritation and misunderstanding.
Perhaps a grief support group may be helpful to you as grief isn't just "something we get over" but a process of natural emotions that we feel and may revisit for a long time. There is no timeline for grief recovery.
You obviously dearly and deeply loved your Grandma and she meant a lot to you. And you want compassionate understanding and support in your grief. Sometimes the people closest to us can't or don't know how to help us through our pain.
They may feel helpless about seeing us go through deep emotions and wish we could move forward sooner. They honestly don't know how to help but would help if they knew how.
My sister was very harsh with me when I lost my oldest daughter and that wound was shocking and unexpected from her when I needed her the most and those words went deep from her. But I didn't disown her as my sister. I realized that she was crippled by her own heart wounds so couldn't be there for mine.
My daughter died three years ago and I still cry almost every day. There is a big gaping hole in my heart that doesn't go away. Grief is an individual thing. How you handle your grief may be very different than how I handle mine or how your partner handles his. It doesn't mean my way is better or worse than his or yours--it is just a different way to handle our own grief. What is most important is for you to be able to express and feel your grief the way you need to. When my Dad died, I was lost for over a year. It took my Mom at least 5 years but now she doesn't even talk about him as if he didn't ever exist and she has nothing in his memory. I am not like that at all--I have a nature property in his name and honour. I talk about him lots. I have a picture up of him. I honour his memory differently than my Mom. But I respect her way/non-way of dealing with her loss whether I agree with it or not.
Your grief is yours alone as your relationship to your Grandma was also yours alone. Nobody ever relates exactly the same. We all have individual relationships with the same person. So your relationship to your Grandma was uniquely yours.
So you have the right to grieve how you need to and how long you need to. Your partner has the right to also grieve how he needs to and how long he needs to even if it is different.
Just sorry to hear that it wasn't as supportive as you needed. So that is why it is sometimes helpful to find a grief support group with those who are going through the stages of grief and can relate to you where you need it.
My deepest sympathies in the loss of your dear Grandmother. She must have been a very special person.
Re the future, whatever decision you make will be the right one for you. All the best with it.