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Yet again my stepmother was putting me down to my kids and told my daughter that she now wishes she had taken me to court to gain custody of my kids, and then proceeded to ask my daughter if she would move in with my dad and stepmother. I find this very rude, hurtful and insulting to me. Am I or have I been that terrible of a parent? I feel extremely upset and cant stop crying. I am worried now that she will pull this shit on me when Im already dealing with the stress of court with my XH for child support and I am looking at going bankrupt. I have fought to give my kids a better life as a child then I ever had, but my dad and stepmother make me feel like a worthless piece of shit because of my mental health and being on disability. Everything is about money and status with my dad and stepmother. My own mother understands because she knows how nasty they can be.
My counselor has asked why I visit my dad and stepmother because they usually put me down to the kids. My counselor considers them to be unhealthy and triggering for me. There are too many things that have been said for me to remember and I wish now I had of been documenting them each time. My brother hasnt spoken to either of them in about 14 years because of the abuse we suffered as children from my dad and the continued emotional abuse I subject myself to now. My son now cant stand them and has grown tired and upset with their constant nagging, bitching and insulting me to them.
I know my depression at times may be hard on the kids but over the years I have had them in programs to help them understand and have an outlet for help. As well a place that came to the home for months to help us function better as a family. I have been too lax with my kids because of my own abuse as a child. Last year I sent both kids to a therapist. My son refused to continue but he is sixteen now and has that option. My daughter still sees her therapist and psychiatrist.
Just a few months ago my daughter was big on wanting to be home schooled and my stepmother said that someone without an education could home school herthat is ridiculous. I have a college diploma in office administration, a certificate from Pre Health Science and General Arts and Science (both college) and am presently in the Practical Nursing program.
I feel worthless and terrible. I am so alone in this.
Thank you for reading and letting me vent. I just can't stop crying.
My counselor has asked why I visit my dad and stepmother because they usually put me down to the kids. My counselor considers them to be unhealthy and triggering for me. There are too many things that have been said for me to remember and I wish now I had of been documenting them each time. My brother hasnt spoken to either of them in about 14 years because of the abuse we suffered as children from my dad and the continued emotional abuse I subject myself to now. My son now cant stand them and has grown tired and upset with their constant nagging, bitching and insulting me to them.
I know my depression at times may be hard on the kids but over the years I have had them in programs to help them understand and have an outlet for help. As well a place that came to the home for months to help us function better as a family. I have been too lax with my kids because of my own abuse as a child. Last year I sent both kids to a therapist. My son refused to continue but he is sixteen now and has that option. My daughter still sees her therapist and psychiatrist.
Just a few months ago my daughter was big on wanting to be home schooled and my stepmother said that someone without an education could home school herthat is ridiculous. I have a college diploma in office administration, a certificate from Pre Health Science and General Arts and Science (both college) and am presently in the Practical Nursing program.
I feel worthless and terrible. I am so alone in this.
Thank you for reading and letting me vent. I just can't stop crying.
Things probably won't get immediately become perfect emotionally, but take small steps toward improvement, and you will get better! Have hope and faith.
I am working on getting better....started a new med and therapy this week.
What your stepmother is doing to your kids is just ROTTEN!
How dare she criticize you to them!!! She has no right.
If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't let her Anywhere NEAR my kids.
She is toxic!
You are a Wonderful Person And A Wonderful Mother.
Tell her to get lost!
Much Love And Peace To You
My mind is so boggled over this stepmother! And the correct word is: STEP! My son's son wanted to live with his father as well and wanted nothing to do with his mother, just the opposite situation. Well, my son has his son living with him and the mother has no say over it. Do you have full custody? Does this stepwoman, or whatever we want to call her, (not a lady by any means) know what she is doing to your children by her hurtful words? She is not hurting you half as much as she is hurting your children with her childish and cruel remarks. She has no right to those kids, she is a step. This whole thing is between YOU and YOUR EX, period! Don't ever let them put you down! Look at what you have accomplished in your life? What does she have to show for herself? I doubt it's much. You are NOT worthless, never have been, never will be. And you are not alone either. At least as long as you have us to do our best to find the answers to your concerns. If you don't mind me asking, if the children live with you, why are you having to pay child support? Everything is not about status and money, it's about love and caring! Your children want to be around those that show their love for them, not what status they have. Please feel free to message me anytime. I am probably sounding confused in this post but I hope I am getting the message across to you. Please know that you are not worthless and that stepmother needs to stay out of this. Those are just my feelings.
Thank you so much for your great reply!
Yes, I have full custody of my kids. I am not paying child support, my XH has been refusing to pay and we are in court for him to start paying. Since I am on disability the government is paying it. He owes them about $15,000 now and seems to think I should have to pay it back not him. He has always purposely stayed unemployed or underemployed to avoid paying. In 2007 a judge ordered him to pay an imputed amount based on fulltime minimum wage.
My dad and stepmother have always been abusive in some way. They think they know everything and what they think should be done is the right way. It is a long sad history with them. I have gone before by not speaking to them for months to years at a time. I told my kids three strikes youre out. I will not subject myself to their crap anymore. And may tell my daughter she cannot visit either. She almost always comes home crying after being with them. They are control freaks and Im sick of it. These are my kids and you are right they have no say it what goes on, unless of course there was abuse but that is not the case. Since I was abused so badly as a child I swore I would never subject my kids to that.
My stepmother doesnt look at is as hurtful for the kids. She thinks it is her tough love on trying to control them and be negative. This is because they are rich and see ppl without great jobs and tons of money as losers..their words too.
What you said about love being the most important is so true. My mom thinks I should sit down and talk to her and lay it all out, but after 30 years I know it is a waste of breath. My brother cant stand her and that is the main reason he has cut them out of his life, but not only that my dad continues to emotional abuse and like my stepmother has a great way of making (my brother) me and my kids feel like we are worthless.
Another thing that came to my mind is when I was accepted for the nursing program she just couldnt understand how I got in and one of her friends with university didnt. another notch for making me feel worthless. It was such a nasty thing to say to me.
Thank you so much!