Depression Support Group

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lonely

GAPDaTsar
GAPDaTsar

I'm very lonely, desperate for a significant other to cuddle with, to be with, and shares my interests. Unfortunately, I live in a low populated state: Nebraska. Plus, with my kinks I will never find anyone who will like my kinks or accept them. Being kinky makes everything much more difficult to find someone perfect for me. With such loneliness I began developing imaginary friends including an imaginary girlfriend. I bought two plushies, a red wolf I named Glacies and a dolphin I named Eve. I talk to them, share feelings with them, and cuddle with them along with crying myself to sleep almost every night with them. I eventually made an imaginary girlfriend I named Sierra. She shares all of my interests, intellect, and feelings towards the same things. She's a beautiful dragon. White, shiny scales that shimmer in light, intense indigo eye color, and is great at cuddling. I feel that all the loneliness and depression I'm suffering from is beginning to put me in a state of psychosis or schizoid personality disorder. I already am going to both a psychiatrist and psychologist but they are no longer helpful anymore. I feel like my life, mainly because of my mental state, is gradually falling apart and there is no longer anything that I can do about it. I have no friends and I have no love. I don't even know what love even feels like since I've never experienced it before. Help. :'(

LeeKay
LeeKay
I'm so sorry for your pain. My heart broke for you as I read your post. Loneliness is a terrible thing. There are no words to express that feeling of disparity. I know I'm old enough to be your mom but I wish I could give you a hug and tell you it will be ok.
bridgie101
bridgie101
When you talk about your kink and how it is what stands between you and love, what is this kink and how does it get in the way? There are people out there with most kinks you can hook up with. You just need to get out there and meet them.

Humans are finite. That means there are finite variations. Finite kinks. The planet's finite. It's all doable.

I remember as a teenager being absolutely stark raving mad with horniness. I would have shagged anything that moved - and anything that didn't, till it did, as the saying goes. You are not in any way abnormal. Put that out of your head.

You're absolutely normal. This hell is normal. You don't need psychoanalysis. You need a girlfriend so get out there and get one.
Anna2612
Anna2612
Why don't you try using a social dating site? Tinder or match.com works pretty well for some people. It will give you the confidene you need at least as a start over the screen and it's a great way to just make friends.
GAPDaTsar
GAPDaTsar
Anna2612 I been on several dating sites and a couple dozen one night stand sites. There's not many people where I live, all the sites cost money which cannot buy love, and I barely get any responses to anything. I can't just drive to meet up with the person I met online because I can't drive and driving scares me. My parents will not take me to a place or to people they are unfamiliar with especially if I'm trying to keep it as a secret or if it's for hookups. I currently don't have much of a life of my own yet.
GAPDaTsar
GAPDaTsar
bridgie101 I have many fetishes. Furries/scalies, feet/toes, being bound, submissiveness, curviness, dragons, smart girls, girls with glasses, animal costumes, gamer girls, plushies, even an alien fetish. Mass Effect aliens are attractive.
Lenoire
Lenoire
I'm not sure what all of these are, but they do sound like fun. How old are you my dear?
GAPDaTsar
GAPDaTsar
Lenoire I am 19 years old, and yes, fun indeed.
bridgie101
bridgie101
Teenagers who have not had sex will make up all sorts of things to fetishise, but a good shag'll blow away those cobwebs. Not being able to get something, and having a fertile imagination, will create all sorts of fantasies. And whatever fantasies you have to stimulate yourself, you'll find you have enough stimulation in the moment with some young thing in person, that they won't be so necessary.

don't judge who you are in company by who you are in private. That's rule no. 1. You're locking yourself into identities when you have no life experience. I think teenagers do it now because they seem to have some urge to have something to 'be'. Just be in the moment, unconscious and exploring. Don't create monsters and certainly if you dream up monsters, don't make them unslayable monsters.
Lenoire
Lenoire
What sort of childhood and relationship did you have with your mother and father. I take it you still live at home with them. Have you met any people online in your area that you can get together with just to talk and have fun dreaming about the future and things you would like to do? I ask because it's so important to be able to share your thoughts with someone your age, who also has fetishes and wants and desires.
GAPDaTsar
GAPDaTsar
bridgie101 I actually like my fetishes and fantasies. They make me even more excited.
GAPDaTsar
GAPDaTsar
Lenoire Yes, I still live at home with them. I have met people online but almost all of them how are similar to me with similar interests live nowhere near me. I only found a few near me but I don't hear from them anymore. Some of their profiles have also disappeared. Other than that, everyone else is either too young, too old, does not live near me, or does not have any similar interests, fantasies, and fetishes at all. :(
bridgie101
bridgie101
GAP I am trying to stop you from pricing yourself out of the market. :) You will end up lonely if you have rigid requirements, and without experience you don't know if you actually require them or not on the day. We all have fantasies that absolutely get us going when we're home alone - but we don't require them to be acted out every time when we're with someone. Sometimes a good shag is the shag you can get. Yanno? :)

So what I'm trying to get across is to keep an open mind. Get out there, get some life experience, and then see where you are.
GAPDaTsar
GAPDaTsar
bridgie101 I could go to a convention to find all the kinky, nerdy furries/scalies that go there. But conventions are a problem with me; there's just way too many people with way too much sound for me to handle. I'm neuroatypical. As for experience, the only experience I have is www.bad-dragon.com
Lauriegirl
Lauriegirl
Be okay with yourself. Seriously. I have stuffies that I talk to, tell my problems to, and I think they really listen. It's almost like I see their feelings too. As for loneliness I've bashed my head off walls. I talked to my dear sister about that problem just last night. I'm going to try to go to church today for somewhere to go because I have a habit of isolating myself (please don't let me have a melt down) and she recommends groups. I'll have to look into groups nearby. As for romance you'd be surprised what you can find out there.
GAPDaTsar
GAPDaTsar
Lauriegirl Church makes me feel more depressed. I would like to go to meetups and groups that I would enjoy. I just panic when there's too many people around though. Even if the other people are similar to me after about a few months nothing seems to work out between me and anyone else similar to me and I still don't know why. I appear too needy I guess.