Sweetiepie, you have a double whammy: depression and grief over the loss of your boyfriend to alcohol. Depression tells us do nothing, That lets it thrive. Most have found the need for a three tier approach. Meds help but alone aren't a magic bullet; therapy helps, but it is such a small part of a week; support groups with peers, whether here or in real time is that third component. We have been there. We know that overwhelming of hopelessness. We begin to crawl our way out with baby steps. You pick 2 things that you will make yourself do tomorrow; write them down; check them off as you do them. You are taking meds, and have posted here. Good first steps. Comforting hugs as you slowly take action. Do come on here each day. Read posts and replies when you don't feel up to posting and replying. It may give you some tools and help you feel part of the family on DS. Comforting hugs.

when your alone it can get hard to get out of bed seems like some of us need an other , motivation is hard when you have no purpose but one thing i know is if you dont try things dont get better, so really dear find that person who gives you purpose, it will take effort but can be done. PM me if you get lonely ill be glad to write back.

I used to deal with the very same thing. It's horrible. I sought help from the medical profession and with some (simple) medication I got better. BUT ... the MAIN thing is I got myself busy. I am now simply too busy to be depressed. What do I do? Anything that keeps me and my mind busy. I have not been 'depressed' in years ... and it almost killed me several times. You sit or lie in bed, and you have nothing BUT depression to deal with. Get BUSY and there won't be time for it.

Sorry you're having a hard time. I can empathize with you. I have been in the pit of depression many times. I know this might sound impossible, but I had to learn to do it: Get out of your own head. Depression is a liar and a cheat. It will tell you things that aren't true and rob you of a wonderful life. I have spent the past 15 years or so reading self help books, learning about anxiety, etc. I heard that the best way to beat the enemy is to know the enemy you are fighting. I have learned a lot and been helped my the books Mood Swings by Paul Meier and Happiness is a Choice by Frank Minirth. I also listen to New Life Radio call in program with Stephen Arterburn.
Make today the first day of the rest of your life. Turn the page, start a new chapter and never look back.
Just promise us that you will do something. The worst thing you can do is just think about your depression and do nothing about it.

I am sorry you are having a hard time,and understand depression to. Sadly I had the same problem my extra a bad drinking problem,and would use me as a punch bag abuse too,and would say honey I am sorry, all the time, felt terrible and at the end I left him,felt guilty kept trying to help him,he said he had no problem,that I was the problem,and I would beg for him to stop abusing him so many years cause I loved him. How cause love do this? Apart of me misses him,loves,and worried still.. I still pray that he is safe,so many years together,24 years.. my friend it will get better.remember to pray,read the bible ,talk try to enjoy life,take it from me.no worth losing yourself,love yourself,you are worth it.. cause God loves us all,and forgive all of us.please remember that. May God bless you us all.

Thank you for everyone's reply, I start back with studying soon and will try my best to do new things in life.

Sorry about that Tere1313, he should have treated you better like we all deserve..