Depression Support Group
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I feel like a complete outcast in my city due to the fact that I dont smoke or drink. I never get invited to parties or just to hang out with so called friends because they feel like I would ruin the mood. I only get invited to parties when people need designated drivers and even then when I go they leave me standing around by myself. I've never once considered smoking and drinking regardless of the situation. I refuse to it would just be nice if people wouldn't overlook me all the time or only call me when they need me to do stuff for them. Anyone else feel like just giving up on everything around you?
I can sympathize on the drinking thing. I haven't drank for 10 years, and it's hard when almost every single one of my friends are HUGE partyers (not sure if that's a word or not lol).
I can't say that I've experienced not being included in parties though, and I'm definitely not always the sober driver. Often, but not always.
Do your friends know that you want to hang out? I've had people ask me to come out, to a club or party or whatever, then say something like "I didn't know if you'd get mad that I asked, because I know you don't drink."
Could your friends be thinking the same way? Just an idea. If they're really purposely leaving you out because they think you're boring because you don't drink, that's bullshit, and they're not real friends.
I'm really sorry if that's the case, that's gotta hurt. But you can always find new ones. Shared interests, sports, hobbies, all good ways to meet people.
Good luck to you :)
There are a lot of nonsmokers who gather and would not be caught dead near a smoker. Same to be said for drinking alcohol.
I don't think you stand alone because you don't smoke and drink. I think it is something else.
Either you need to start smoking and drinking .. which I do NOT advise or develop some social skills. I think you would do best with the latter. Now, don't take offense. I am going with info you have provded and when I picture you at a 'gathering', standing there alone, I have to assume it is because you don't know how to engage people. Smoking and drinking has nothing to do with it. If you engage people, it is not important that you be smoking and drinking at the time.
I WILL agree that if you are associating with drunks and pot smokers, then you are at a disadvantage .. it is hard to relate to drunks and pot smokers if you don't drink and smoke pot. If this is the case, you need to find a different group of people to hang out with. There are millions of them.
Back to social skills. Given that IS the problem, you can Google:
How do I develop social sklls?
where I got "about 11,300,000 results"
Within those hits, I am SURE you will learn something about engaging people, becoming popular, making friends, and resolution to your complaints. Give it a try .. you are BOUND to learn something.
There are people out there who will share your interests, value your opinions and your companionship. Do whatever it takes to find them. "Friends" like you have now will do nothing but destroy your self-esteem every time you hang out with them. What the hell kind of friend is that???
If all your friends care about is getting high and drunk, sounds pretty boring. Maybe you need to find the things that interest you and get involved, make some friends that way. Artists' guilds, book discussion groups, hiking groups, yoga or dance lessons, open mic night if you're a musician, you'll find what moves you and that's where you'll meet the people you want to spend time with.