Believe it or not you are needed and loved. It doesn't matter what other think of you. It only matters what you think of your self. Sometimes things are my fault. Other times things are not in my control. Those things are not my fault it's others fault. Don't blame yourself what others do. They may still not have peace if you go out of there life because they are messing up their life. Making themself misserable.
Change yourself so you are happy with yourself

Thank you blackcrow. The few people that know about my issues have said the same thing it's just hard for me to acknowledge it I've felt like this for a long time

I felt that way for years. Feeling better at the moment knowing i am getting terminated on Monday from my job of 10 years. Actually feeling ok about it. Anyhow Nickedout- maybe try to change just one little thing today, just one ever so small thing. A start for you could be a start someone else sees. Sometimes no ones listens. Sometimes it has to be you to pull it through. Just a small try, some ole thought of a good memory in the past perhaps. As I get older, I think more about good times years ago. No one no even the bullys we all deal with, for me at work,,,,, can't take that away.

Thoughts are just that thoughts. You cant touch them. They dont exist in reality.
You need a counsellor to challenge your thoughts and show how detached from reality they are.

Can I suggest a book by Anthony De mello "Awareness"

I am sorry you are struggling and feel that way. Those thoughts are not true about yourself. Each one of us are special. God made each one of us uniquely and wonderfully made. Unfortunately, we allow our thoughts to tell us differently. Are you currently in counseling? Have you been to a therapist? There is an underlying reason why you feel this way about yourself and it is important through therapy to get to root of the cause. I have struggled with depression on an off for years. After years of counseling, I finally accepted the root to my depression and why I was so hard on myself. I had to learn that there is no such thing as perfectionism, to learn to live moment by moment, give myself breaks, and find things I like about myself. One book that was really helpful to me is called Battle Field of the Mind by Joyce Meyers. I will be keeping you in my prayers. Please know you are special. People do care and want to see you feel better. You are not alone. Please continue to share here and let us know how you are doing. Sending hugs and good thoughts your way. God Bless!

How are you feeling this week? You have been in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless!