Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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SleepyWalrus 01/27/2015

For a while now I've been feeling lethargic and miserable. When I'm not feeling that way it's when I'm experiencing anger or pain from flashbacks and dissociative states.

A large part of this seems to stem from the frustration of being unable to find any support. What support I thought I had at first (friends) up and left me when they realized that just saying "cheer up" wouldn't fix anything, and I can't turn to my family for support. I can't even let my family find out about my problems for that matter.

I turned to online support groups when I felt like I was reaching a breaking point and couldn't find support for my cptsd or the abuse I've gone through anywhere else.

Unfortunately even in online support groups like DS I have yet to find any real support.

Most of my time on DS has been in the PTSD group trying to get support for the symptoms of my c-ptsd. That hasn't gone very well at all. It's been like trying to get water from a stone. My luck hasn't been much better in the abuse support group either.

Aside from my journal entries (which only cover some of my situation and history) any time I have tried discussing my situation or problems on DS it has resulted in hostility and setting off various other users.

I've had users respond by: telling me I must deserve the abuse since I'm male and my abusers have been near exclusively female; a few have told me to go join hate groups; some have defended the abusive actions of my abusers; and more than a few have gotten annoyed at me for declining to take harmful, dangerous or unfeasible advice.

It really sucks being stuck trying to cope with nightmarish flashbacks and dissociative states (basically like a flashback, but not a replay of actual memories) on my own all day, everyday and be unable to even turn to support groups for support.

I've even tried changing how I bring up the subjects of my situation or issues in hopes that changing tone or word choice would prevent other members from being set off when they read it. Even that has failed each time I've tried it.

I keep periodically searching the web for other online support groups too. Unfortunately I haven't found any that look like they would be any better.

At this point I feel exhausted. All I've been doing here lately is try to help others and wait to see if any people with similar situations/issues to mine join the site.

debsue123 01/27/2015

Perhaps it is not the support groups letting you down. You are a very angry person. How can u help others when you are so negative about the site and the people here. I pray you find what you need soon and that somehow something positive happens for you. Best wishes. Deb

sweatingbullets 01/28/2015

Hey, it's okay to feel like you do. Do you feel like sometimes people are missing the point of what you are saying? It happens and keep plugging away, I didn't find your post very negative at all.
Sometimes, people can be more sensitive when not feeling their best and there's nothing wrong with that. I recommend to keep trying to reach out and find your place.

Peace

looney1 01/28/2015

I hear what you are saying and I sympathise but remember we are not therapists. We are just people who are also struggling and are not trained to take on too much. We also have to avoid being triggered. No one can do the work for another person. Best of luck on your healing journey.

DCUK 01/28/2015

PLZ JUST KEEP TAPING AWAY AT THAT ROCK SWEETIE SOONER OR LATER YOUR SEE THE OTHER SIDE N JUST REMEMBER THAT 2 DEPRESSIONS ARE NEVER THE SAME EVEN WHEN THEY SEEM SO SIMLER,

REMEMBER THIS IS YOUR OWN JOURNEY N YOU CAN ONLY DEAL WITH IT IN YOUR OWN TIME N WAY!!! WHY NOT START WRITING DAILY JOURNALS WITH TRIGGER WARNINGS, THAT WAY YOUR GIVEING FOLKS PRE WARNING N CHOICE TOO READ YOUR JOURNAL [BUT KEEP WRITING AWAY NO MATTER HOW HARD OR SLOW OR HOW NEG SOME FOLKS MAY GET] ...

ITS IMPORTANT IFF YOUR ABLE TOO TO GO LET OUT THOSE FEELINGS HOWEVER GREAT OR SMALL, SO TRY N WRITE N THEM DOWN BUT ALWAYS REVIEW TRYIN TOO ANSWER SOME OR ALL OF YOUR ON QUESTIONS,

JUST PRAY THIS HELPS HUGGLES N CUDDLES N GOD BLESS

DCUK 01/28/2015

PS!
REMEMBER THERES NEVER A QUICK FIX TOO DEPRESSION IT TAKES TIME N ENERGY ON YOUR PART WORKING AWAY THROUGH IT BIT BY BIT STAGE BY STAGE IS THE ONLY WAY FORWARDS N KNOW CUTING CORNERS AND WE HAVE TO LEARN TOO FACE OUR FEARS SO TOO CARRY ON FORWARDS TAKE YOUR TIME N GODLUCK BE FAIR ON OTHERS BUT DO WHAT YOU NEED FOR YOURSELF GOODLUCK SWEETIE...

HUGGLES N CUDDLES N GOD BLESS

SleepyWalrus 01/28/2015

At this point I'm not all that surprised that the first reply to this discussion was an insensitive remark defending members who post abusive messages such as telling people they deserve to be abused based on their gender.

I've pretty much given up in trying to reach out and talk about my issues since every time I do it results in other members flipping out and attacking me. The amount of stress it causes me sometimes reaches the point where I feel like I'm about to have a mini-stroke.

ZAZAS 01/28/2015

Some groups are like that, I try to stay out of them and find groups with kind people who can help. I hope you don't find that here. If that is the responses you received, you don't need to be there. The last thing we need is blame. Glad you found us.

ZAZAS 01/28/2015

And, not everyone that comes here is in the position to help. They came because they are sick and need help. Concentrate on helping you, reach out to others that can help you. That is what I had to do. Believe me I was very sick when I found DS. I didn't find your post negative either.

ZAZAS 01/28/2015

We have CL or community leader, Pepper and Vet are to of them. If you feel you have been attacked, report it to them. We are not here to flip out and attack people in need of help. If you want help, reach out. If you don't get what you feel you need, reach out some more. One point I would like to make. We tend to put the same feelings that we are feeling to the post. Sometimes a post may sound angry to you but the poster did not mean it that way. I know I tended to apply my feeling onto a post or response when I got here. Try to look at each post in a positive light. I have to do that.

gramybear 01/28/2015

I want to give you special hugs. I sent you a pmessage as well. GB

SleepyWalrus 01/29/2015

It's hard to have a positive view of posts that flat out state things like how you deserve to be abused because you're male, or that if you are a guy who is being abused by a woman you must have done something to deserve it.

gramybear 01/29/2015

I have never read a post such as what you have described and I'm really glad that I haven't because I am a very honest person and won't allow someone to abuse anyone on this group. That is not what a "SUPPORT" group is about. And I do believe that right underneath this message to you, it says this: I gramybear do promise to be nice. There is a big difference between being nice and kind, and treating someone with disrespect. Here is a quote that I have in my journal that I think you may enjoy., Here it is:
There are some people who always seem angry and continuously looking for conflict. Walk away; the battle they are fighting isn't with you, its with themselves. many hugs to you, Gramybear

bluemood33 01/29/2015

What you have been dealing with sucks :( I am so sorry you are going through this stuff (((((SUPER BIG HUGS)))))

SleepyWalrus 01/30/2015

Most of the hostile responses I've gotten have been from people in the PTSD group. I have very problems with very unpleasant flashbacks a hellish dissociative states on a daily basis due to cptsd, so I turned to that group for support. Unfortunately I haven't exactly gotten any from there.

Even when CLs step in there doesn't seem to be any noticable difference in how members of that group behave.

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