This has really hit me hard...like a punch in the gut...i feel so sad about his death, it's like i knew him...i always felt like i could relate to him..could see the hint of pain and sadness in his eyes and expressions...

Last Thursday, i went to the library to check out some movies, and Patch Adams caught my eye. I looked at the cover, held it in my hands, and suddenly, i felt a funny feeling in my tummy, chills up and down my spine, and got this really sad feeling out of the blue..it was very strange.

Yes. Lots of rumors going around. I have heard financial trouble from having to take care of so many exes and kids. And of course the depression and substance abuse difficulties and now Parkinsons! WOW!

I sent you a PM about a crazy idea I had about the whole deal

His heart problems and Parkinson's can all be attributed to his use of cocaine. He might have brought this damage onto himself. It's never a good thing to self-medicate. I hope he is in a better place now though. His mind and soil were obviously in deep pain and anguish.

I meant to say his mind and soul!

We will never know the real reason this happened because the person that knows the answer is gone. I think it is so sad that he truly felt that there was no hope but then again as sad and morbid as it sounds if someone is going to do this and they are determined to do so they will. It is truly heartbreaking. I hope that he rests in peace.

Parkinson's is not a pleasant way to (IS there any pleasant way to go?), so I can understand and respect his decision to spare himself the agony of suffering through that. It's horrible. In the final stages, a person completely loses control of all their bodily functions, can't even swallow, choke on their own saliva.

This lovely tribute was put up on the BP board... I thought you might enjoy it

http://uniladmag.com/video/robin-williams-tribute-video-pretty-awesome/

Koolman: for the first time today I was able to see the potential possibility that he made a rational choice to take his life.
We do not know what he was told about the Parkinson's: i.e. we can control it with medication and you'll lead a fairly normal life" vs. "you have a very progressive form and can expect ...." My husband's uncle had a movement disorder, akin to Parkinson's, and I kept thinking that I could not live with the loss of dignity and dependence on others that he endured.
Tough as it may be on his family and those of us left behind, many things may have driven his decision.
I had someone say to me "He was so selfish to do this to his family" (first of all she has never suffered from depression so she does not understand that sometimes there do not appear to be any options and the one suffering may feel that he has failed his family and will cause further pain and burden for them)--I see Robin Williams as anything but a selfish person.
In any event, I do not blame him in any way. He gave to the world selflessly and understood what it is to be depressed, which is part of the human condition for some of us