Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Well, I haven't been reaching out for help much. I feel pretty isolated and pretty abandoned. I know my perception is not accurate but the feeling is real weather pervieved or otherwise. Tried to call my kids all day and finally got to chat with them about 1 1/2 hrs ago. Merry Christmas! I shouldn't feel bad. I know that things could be way way worse and are for a lot of people.
I just wish i could wake up one day and the last 30+ years would have been just a bad dream. I wish I did not have such a low opinion of myself and that I was able to feel different than I do. I do not know the person looking back at me in the mirror. I do not know weather or not I have ever known.
How do you find the path back to yourself or origional way if you have never even known where the path is or the destinty/star point was to start with? I am so lonely and yet I continue to isolate myself and try and concoct a world of fantasy in my mind where any distraction will do.
I crave to feel human touch again. I crave to feel intimate or close to someone even if it is pretend. I do not really like myself but the fact of the matter is, that is not really an accurate statement. How can I notr like myself, when I do not even know who that is?
I sometimes think I am going insane. I really do. I have severe memory impairments now and my reality is questionable at best. I am either delusional or I have really unfortunate luck and a pretty incoherant reccolection of tghings that have happened. I fear both to be true. I try and deny that the one common denominator is me. Then I fully embrace it. Yet even with concious effort in the extreme to change my reality. Nothing really changes except the days, months and years. And now my dear friends, I am having a conversation with myself on a website.
SMH.
Is anyone else out there alone and lonely this evening? I try to keep on keeping on, I really do. I have had several come backs from situatiuons I never thought were possible to come back from. The daily grind takes a heavy toll though. Constant and increased efforts to change things do not change anything and still it continues. What continues you may wonder, or may not. The answer my friend is blowing in the wind, the answer is blowing in the wind. But on a more serious note. I do not even remember what the point of my post is and what point I was just trying to make! I think it is something along the lines of how long can this continue? Its been years already.
On an unrelated note, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
Seriously, the asnswer to that question at least is: According to a Cornell publication, the answer is ~700 pounds.
The rest of the stuff?
What stuff?
You must realize...your past is what makes you, you. But, don't dwell on the past.
Learn from your past. Take it into today. Chose that you will be more upbeat! It is your choice...you can either chose to stay where you are (camped in the past) or, move on to your future!!
Yes, I have moments (too often...to long!) where my past, or my downfalls intrude. But, with help from my friend, Jesus, I overcome these!! (John 16:33 New Living Translation (NLT)
33 I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
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