Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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1silently 05/30/2017

So I'm picking up my almost 3 year old son from his dad's (we're seperated live in the same apartment buildings broke up over abuse ) and my sons just going in and out of the apartment when I'm trying to get him to leave and he would run back in and do something and dawdle and not come out and so forth and I couldn't go in to the apartment obviously. So I pick him up when he comes out again and he had already said goodbye and he just starts wailing bloody murder the entire way home and wouldn't let me hold him at all kicking me I had to put him in his room to calm down and now I'm sitting here opening his door and he screams no and slams it and just wont come out after an hour of being in there and he's just crying and I feel like a terrible mother and my son doesn't love me when he acts like this and he won't let me comfort him at all like he hates me and it's my fault

sharaninmd 05/30/2017

You were wise to get out of an abusive relationship. It is healthier for you and your son. It isn't your fault that your son was having a temper tantrum. He is only two and doesn't understand why he has to leave his father. Just keep re-enforcing how much you love him and show him a lot of affection. Also, was your son's father ever abusive towards your son? If so, you should contact Social Services so that you can have complete custody of your son. You need to protect your son.

amurb 05/30/2017

Oh I am so sorry you are going through this. Firstly, it isn't your fault at all, don't ever feel that way. He is three years old and feeling and dealing with things he can't process yet. Just give him space and let him come to you. I do that with my 5 year old who angers easily and gets offended just as easily. Maybe when he calms down you can talk with him. Also perhaps documenting these events could be helpful if abuse was a factor in your guys' lives. Good luck to you.

amurb 05/30/2017

1silently 05/30/2017

Thanks for the support guys to my knowledge he hasn't been abusive I haven't seen any signs and I know he loves his son and cares for him. I do support spanking but haven't really done it when he threw a tantrum I've just been trying to give him space and if he's throwing himself everywhere put him in his room till he's calm. This is the first time he spent over an hr in his room and just sobbed and refused to have anything to do with me... it's so hard dealing with his tantrums they get so bad and he's really physical and hurts me and that's when I have to spank him

Dottk 06/01/2017

Well, we used to tell my kids when we went on a playdate or to the zoo whatever that if they weren't nice when it was time to go, we wouldn't be bringing them to come back again. Not sure you want to use that one when it's his faththat house, but.... hey Dad could be backing you up a little bit by taking his son aside and telling him something similar thing... if he can be nice when it's time to go, maybe next time he can stay longer, hmmm? Or how about just a "Listen to your mother". That's a good Dad thing to say.

Only time I threw a tantrum as a toddler, my mother threw one so much bigger, I still remember it today and never dared threw one again. I think my method with my kids wasn't. quite as "forceful" maybe, but it made essentially the same point. That being, "Let's not do that again."

Dottk 06/01/2017

That was supposed to be, "...when it is his father's house..."

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