I've been battling depression since I was 17 years old, and now I am in my 70's. I have an active life and I do all the right things- still employed, exercise, walk each day, meditate, see a therapist, take depression meds, keep active socially, but everything I do seems like cardboard lately, just blah. I'm tired of talking about this with my therapist I don't discuss my depression except in a cursory way with my partner and friends. They don't understand, even though they are sympathetic. I understand why they don't understand. You have to have experienced chronic depression to really comprehend what it's like. Anyway, it gets old fast, and there's nothing that they can do to lift my depression anyway; the solutions have to come from me.
I just get so weary from this daily struggle. It saps my emotional strength. This latest two month downturn started, I think, from the real disconnect that I feel with my son, daughter in law, and grandkids. I am a blip on the screen in their lives, because of somrthing stupid that I said 5 years ago to my daughter in law. I have apologized profusely and followed every decision that they've made about how much I'm allowed to visit , which is a few times a year for 4 hours each time. It's scary for me to make the 2 plus hour drive each way in one day at this point in my life, and they will NOT come here. My grandkids are old enough now that they really don't want to talk to me on the phone. My son hates his sister (who does not have kids). My daughter and I have a great relationship, but she lives fairly far, so basically I feel that I have no family (I'm divorced).
I've conscientiously worked to NOT have a "poor me"attitude or demeanor. Again, it gets old fast, both for me and others, and I am so fortunate in so many ways; I love my job, so far my health is good, so far my cognitive skills are good my partner, family, children and grandchildren, and my ex (I still keep an eye on him and help himbecause he has mental issues)are doing ok. How can I lift out of this pit? I DO NOT LIKE FEELING THIS WAY.
I would appreciate any comments or suggestions. Just writing this makes me feel a little better.
I'm 67 years old, married to a good man (my second marriage) for 17years. Between us we have 5 children and 5 grandchildren. We live in a retirement community that is very active. Over the years I've joined clubs, zumba classes, went to clubhouse dances. We had a group of friends that we did things with for years. Lately that all seems to be changing and the group has drifted apart....
I went through a depression a few years ago and since being medicated I’ve done quite well. I was always able to get up and go to work but I struggled with being around people after work. I would put my headphones on and just tune out the world around me. I have had days since where I struggled and today is one of those days. The first thing I thought when I woke up this morning is...