Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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tryeachday 10/03/2019

I've been battling depression since I was 17 years old, and now I am in my 70's. I have an active life and I do all the right things- still employed, exercise, walk each day, meditate, see a therapist, take depression meds, keep active socially, but everything I do seems like cardboard lately, just blah. I'm tired of talking about this with my therapist I don't discuss my depression except in a cursory way with my partner and friends. They don't understand, even though they are sympathetic. I understand why they don't understand. You have to have experienced chronic depression to really comprehend what it's like. Anyway, it gets old fast, and there's nothing that they can do to lift my depression anyway; the solutions have to come from me.

I just get so weary from this daily struggle. It saps my emotional strength. This latest two month downturn started, I think, from the real disconnect that I feel with my son, daughter in law, and grandkids. I am a blip on the screen in their lives, because of somrthing stupid that I said 5 years ago to my daughter in law. I have apologized profusely and followed every decision that they've made about how much I'm allowed to visit , which is a few times a year for 4 hours each time. It's scary for me to make the 2 plus hour drive each way in one day at this point in my life, and they will NOT come here. My grandkids are old enough now that they really don't want to talk to me on the phone. My son hates his sister (who does not have kids). My daughter and I have a great relationship, but she lives fairly far, so basically I feel that I have no family (I'm divorced).

I've conscientiously worked to NOT have a "poor me"attitude or demeanor. Again, it gets old fast, both for me and others, and I am so fortunate in so many ways; I love my job, so far my health is good, so far my cognitive skills are good my partner, family, children and grandchildren, and my ex (I still keep an eye on him and help himbecause he has mental issues)are doing ok. How can I lift out of this pit? I DO NOT LIKE FEELING THIS WAY.

I would appreciate any comments or suggestions. Just writing this makes me feel a little better.

jannytheresa 10/03/2019

Well, you're definitely not alone. Being depressed and all that goes with it
is exhausting. I have physical problems as well as depression and I think that one plays into the other.
My jobs are both tough and I am quiet at work, especially when depressed and feel like I don't fit in.
I have been sick with a virus and exhausted, another trigger for depression.

Sometimes, it doesn't seem worth it but what is the alternative. I know from experience that taking your life will hurt your family irreparably. Do you take medication for depression? If so can you see about increasing the doses or changing things up a bit?

I am finding that as I get older, things do get harder. I am so sorry about your son and daughter in law. You have offered your apology but apparently she has the power. This must be painful and, quite frankly they sound cruel making your drive alone all that way!
You say that you have a partner? Is he / she supportive? That makes a big difference. Right now my husband is a bit fed up with me and my stuff. It hurts that he is not as caring as I'd like him to be but we are going through a lot individually and as a family. I think that we need to keep trying and supporting each other. Glad that you posted.
Please hang in there and I will pm you.

tryeachday 10/03/2019

Thank you, Janny Theresa. It helps so much to communicate with someone who really understands depression. I am so sorry that you are going through so much. Yeah, our loved ones do get fed up with us fast. I think that a lot of this is their frustration at seeing our sad feelings drag on and nothing that they do helps. I hope that you will feel better physically from the virus, too. Being sick really can drag you down physically and mentally. Is exercising or meditating an option for you? Both do help.

My partner is sympathetic, but he's so angry with my son and daughter in law that he doesn't want to be with them. This makes me feel more alone, which is an old and overwhelmingly powerful trigger for me. I can't reason with my partner about this.

I do take meds, but they are not helping much, and my psychiatrist says that a larger dose won't help. I've tried alternative meds, but they make me dizzy, vomit, etc. I'm looking into ketamine spray, but it has to be administered frequently in a doctor's office and this would cut into my work hours a lot.
I'm wondering if medical marijuana would help. Have you tried either of these?

Bluebird20 10/03/2019

I am experiencing similar issues as you. I have physical pain, depression and anxiety. I just put Charlotte Web's CBD oil. I've used it about 4 days it seems to help me. You might try it. I put it at a health food store about $80 for medium priced one. Lasts a month. I heard it better to buy at a store, because if you order from the company directly and have it delivered it takes a long time. Hooe you feel better.

RJW 10/04/2019

Thank you for sharing. Depression lies to us to add to our weight pushing us down. Much in life is ignoring those lies, and just doing. It takes finding something greater that can positively drown out Depression's lies. I focus on my Faith. Still it is enduring everyday, but you are more than worth being around everyday, especially to your loved ones. I hope that made sense. God Bless.

justme415 10/05/2019

Boy I hear you. I’m 66and can trace depression back to puberty. I manage to get thru the days somehow. Haven’t been able to work for the last 3 years due to cancer. I wish I could cause not working makes me feel useless. I am sorry to hear about your son and daughter in law. Hopefully they will learn before it’s too late that you can get back everything except time. I have had 2 grand children living with me for 6 years now and they give me strength and joy. I am sorry you are missing your grand children grow up. It at least you have a good relationship with your daughter. You might not lift out of this pit though. I don’t think I will ever be rid of my depression but I try to find a little joy and happiness wherever it might be— my wife, my siblings, my children sometimes ( they get attitudes to often) and most of all my grand children 7 and 8 and of course my other Gand children who are close enough that I see them at least twice a month.
Good luck to you and best wishes

EllaEscribe 10/09/2019

Hi tryeachday,

I want to start by saying... GO YOU!!!! You really should be proud of sharing all this here. That is one the hardest things to do when you deal with depression, or at least it was for me. And, your last line was great... "Just writing this makes me feel a little better." That is so key in not only dealing with depression, but becoming free from it. You have to talk about it and get it all out. And then, you go do. Even when you are afraid, you go do. And, for me, God freed me from it. I know He wants to and can free you too. You are so much stronger than you think... believe in your strength, you beauty, and your value as a mom, grandmother, and woman. You are amazing, you are loved and you are NEVER alone!!!

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