Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I've been battling depression since I was 17 years old, and now I am in my 70's. I have an active life and I do all the right things- still employed, exercise, walk each day, meditate, see a therapist, take depression meds, keep active socially, but everything I do seems like cardboard lately, just blah. I'm tired of talking about this with my therapist I don't discuss my depression except in a cursory way with my partner and friends. They don't understand, even though they are sympathetic. I understand why they don't understand. You have to have experienced chronic depression to really comprehend what it's like. Anyway, it gets old fast, and there's nothing that they can do to lift my depression anyway; the solutions have to come from me.
I just get so weary from this daily struggle. It saps my emotional strength. This latest two month downturn started, I think, from the real disconnect that I feel with my son, daughter in law, and grandkids. I am a blip on the screen in their lives, because of somrthing stupid that I said 5 years ago to my daughter in law. I have apologized profusely and followed every decision that they've made about how much I'm allowed to visit , which is a few times a year for 4 hours each time. It's scary for me to make the 2 plus hour drive each way in one day at this point in my life, and they will NOT come here. My grandkids are old enough now that they really don't want to talk to me on the phone. My son hates his sister (who does not have kids). My daughter and I have a great relationship, but she lives fairly far, so basically I feel that I have no family (I'm divorced).
I've conscientiously worked to NOT have a "poor me"attitude or demeanor. Again, it gets old fast, both for me and others, and I am so fortunate in so many ways; I love my job, so far my health is good, so far my cognitive skills are good my partner, family, children and grandchildren, and my ex (I still keep an eye on him and help himbecause he has mental issues)are doing ok. How can I lift out of this pit? I DO NOT LIKE FEELING THIS WAY.
I would appreciate any comments or suggestions. Just writing this makes me feel a little better.
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After work, I am taking a defensive driver course today. It is online and only cost $10 and it may save me as much as $300 on my car insurance. I got the information from my car insurance company. Little known fact about me is that I drive with two feet.
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One day in August many years ago, the strings to our hearts were woven together in a magical and sacred way.They remained tied together though they were taken on a journey fraught with challengingdemons serpents and deep wounds.But still, they stayed tied together.They were torn apart and like a wound that leaves a scarthey cannot heal. They are broken. Ripped, callously slashed.The heart...
is exhausting. I have physical problems as well as depression and I think that one plays into the other.
My jobs are both tough and I am quiet at work, especially when depressed and feel like I don't fit in.
I have been sick with a virus and exhausted, another trigger for depression.
Sometimes, it doesn't seem worth it but what is the alternative. I know from experience that taking your life will hurt your family irreparably. Do you take medication for depression? If so can you see about increasing the doses or changing things up a bit?
I am finding that as I get older, things do get harder. I am so sorry about your son and daughter in law. You have offered your apology but apparently she has the power. This must be painful and, quite frankly they sound cruel making your drive alone all that way!
You say that you have a partner? Is he / she supportive? That makes a big difference. Right now my husband is a bit fed up with me and my stuff. It hurts that he is not as caring as I'd like him to be but we are going through a lot individually and as a family. I think that we need to keep trying and supporting each other. Glad that you posted.
Please hang in there and I will pm you.
My partner is sympathetic, but he's so angry with my son and daughter in law that he doesn't want to be with them. This makes me feel more alone, which is an old and overwhelmingly powerful trigger for me. I can't reason with my partner about this.
I do take meds, but they are not helping much, and my psychiatrist says that a larger dose won't help. I've tried alternative meds, but they make me dizzy, vomit, etc. I'm looking into ketamine spray, but it has to be administered frequently in a doctor's office and this would cut into my work hours a lot.
I'm wondering if medical marijuana would help. Have you tried either of these?
Good luck to you and best wishes
I want to start by saying... GO YOU!!!! You really should be proud of sharing all this here. That is one the hardest things to do when you deal with depression, or at least it was for me. And, your last line was great... "Just writing this makes me feel a little better." That is so key in not only dealing with depression, but becoming free from it. You have to talk about it and get it all out. And then, you go do. Even when you are afraid, you go do. And, for me, God freed me from it. I know He wants to and can free you too. You are so much stronger than you think... believe in your strength, you beauty, and your value as a mom, grandmother, and woman. You are amazing, you are loved and you are NEVER alone!!!