Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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abbey65 05/19/2015

I hope that I didn't turn people off with my post about feeling like an oddball. I don't want to scare people away. I know the majority of people out there can't relate to what I said in the post. I had second thoughts after I posted it, because I was afraid people would get turned off by it, or would laugh, ridicule or be disdainful(I guess is the word),about it I was relieved to find out how kind everyone was about it, and thank you.
I am hoping that I can find someone out there that can relate to the things I've said and understand me. I don't know if there is. Heck, I don't even understand myself.
Also, I am still figuring out how this forum works. Is there a chat or can you private message people? I also seem to have a limited vocabulary(not sure if it's due to depression, result of my mild hearing loss(born with it, in both ears) or whatever, but I have a hard time explaining and expressing myself. Thanks for reading.

ThePepperMan 05/19/2015

Welcome to DS! There are a lot of good people here, and the neat thing is that we mostly "get it" when it comes to understanding depression.

I sent you a PM with some info about DS. If you have problems reading it please let me know and I'll send you instructions on how to call up your PMs. (PM = Private Message)

DS does not have a chat feature. We had one years ago. As a CL I've lobbied DS Admin to find a new chat feature for us ever since the old one was desupported by the vendor. (It was not DS's decision to remove the chat function.)

So once again welcome to DS!

Misssy2 05/19/2015

I learned to only say sorry if I have done something wrong.
I have learned to feel guilty only if I have done something wrong.

You didn't do anything wrong...I know when I'm depressed I am over sensitive...you don't need to be sensitive around here..everyone has either been where you are or have different issues.

But no judging and if judging occurs chose to ignore it.

alanav21 05/20/2015

I've never felt judged here. I myself try to be as supportive as I can be, if nothing else I often just say hey, I'm here if you want to talk. Please don't feel that we'll laugh or think you're a bad person or anything like that. We should be able to be open here, how else can we support each other?

eshaw 05/20/2015

Hi abbey65. Welcome, I am somewhat new here too. I understand the deep sense of inadequacy that you describe. I have carried it with me all my life and have never been able to find a way to stop that inner critic that makes me feel like I'm not ok. Thank you for sharing your last post. When it comes to relationships, typically I don't talk about it but you've inspired me to share a bit more than I normally would. I lost my virginity at 13, it was a humiliating, traumatizing experience for me. I married at 18 and had a daughter at 20. While I would never take back having my child, I would give anything to be a virgin today. I never felt comfortable with men, I was always in pain and always fearful, no matter how nice the guy was. I felt like I lost a piece of myself each time I had sex. After my divorce I dated a little but all the men I dated wanted was sex. I felt used. A few years later a close friend moved in with me. I've not admitted this here, but I fell in love with her. I felt safe and comfortable with her like I never had with a man. I'm not saying this to tell you to go out of the box and date women. In fact I feel ashamed and embarrassed telling my story. But its truth. I got drunk at a bar, plastered and a guy took me into his office and we had sex. I obviously felt huge horror when I realized what was happening. I told my girlfriend. Things were never the same. I felt like she saw me as the piece of shit slut that I was. I thought about surgery, I thought about anything that could help me be pure again. After 8 of the best years of my life we broke up. This shame was a result of my own actions, I don't blame anyone else. But I just want you to know how blessed you are and how much I admire you for waiting for the right person. You are not an oddball. You are actually pretty amazing I think. Don't judge yourself so harshly. I know how hard it is to feel good enough for anyone while suffering with severe depression and anxiety. I pray you find relief and when you're ready, love.

eshaw 05/21/2015

So I can't delete my post, but if it was tmi, I'm sorry!

Mimi993 05/21/2015

Don't ever apologize for being open and honest! Most of the people on here understand and some have been where you have been or are at now. We are here to lend each other support...and from what I have seen so far, people have been very wonderful and accepting. Sending you and eshaw big hugs for being so open and honest.

andy90801 05/21/2015

i am new to this site too,dont know how it works,i cant even log in and get a username and password

WanderingVet 05/21/2015

>> i am new to this site too,dont know how it works,i cant even log in and get a username and password

How then did you manage to make your reply???????

abbey65 05/21/2015

Eshaw,..I want to thank you for all of the kind, and thoughtful and encouraging things you said.. I really appreciate it that you took the time to share your story. Thanks again!

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