Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I'm relatively new to this group, and for me to post I'm desperate. I usually comment or hide my stuff, but yesterday I posted as well. I'm not doing well, I don't know where to turn. I have been in counseling and my anxiety and obvious depression is hitting an all time high. I have multiple things going on including a divorce, my kids are little and struggling, I have an offer on my home, to which now I don't know where to go. I think that's the most debilitating to me...trying to find somewhere to afford. I currently share the house with my ex...yes I know, how do you move on with that situation. I have no time at work to take bc I have used that time for my kids and appointments and such, so here I go and drag myself in and pray I don't make a mistake. I haven't slept in over two weeks. I know it's in my head...I guess I'm afraid. I'm paralyzed...I know is unfounded fear...fear of what? Maybe finally realizing that this who game is over...the help with the children, however little it is, is over. I'm just NOT coping well, and now I need to head to work, where my super knows the situation and has used it against me. She's not a fan of me, but I try. For what I do dayshift jobs are not available so I am lucky to have this poor paying job so I can be here for my kids. They are my rock, but they are not here this week. I need help....I don't know where to turn except to release my heart here.
The divorce has taken everything from me...everything. I try, when I can to get out...parenting is difficult with school age kids and working 12 hour days. I'm nowhere near family or anyone I know. I moved here not knowing anyone bc he had taken a job here, then I was a stay at home mom. It's my fault I never ventured or decided to stay at home. I should have never quit work but I thought I was saviing money to prevent daycare and to spend quality time with my kids. Maybe in the end he is the better parent bc the kids need soemone healthy. I love them with all my heart. I know he could provide financially for them. I feel like I'm going to let them down by moving to a place that is cramped, and they dont get along the way it is. I just need a break. I'm hoping someone can relate or have some ideas. I think I have tried them all....I just need to get some sleep, as I know that would help. Waking up panicked every night all hours of the night, isn't doing it for me. Thank you.
The divorce has taken everything from me...everything. I try, when I can to get out...parenting is difficult with school age kids and working 12 hour days. I'm nowhere near family or anyone I know. I moved here not knowing anyone bc he had taken a job here, then I was a stay at home mom. It's my fault I never ventured or decided to stay at home. I should have never quit work but I thought I was saviing money to prevent daycare and to spend quality time with my kids. Maybe in the end he is the better parent bc the kids need soemone healthy. I love them with all my heart. I know he could provide financially for them. I feel like I'm going to let them down by moving to a place that is cramped, and they dont get along the way it is. I just need a break. I'm hoping someone can relate or have some ideas. I think I have tried them all....I just need to get some sleep, as I know that would help. Waking up panicked every night all hours of the night, isn't doing it for me. Thank you.
My 2 didn't get along that well anyway and more than one place was a bit too cramped but we got by. It was never easy.
The kids came out wiser and stronger from it all.
Is there possibly a church or agency that could help you with a bit of child care for even a few hrs. so you could get some sleep? I'm guessing the cost of daycare is prohibitive?
Your fear is understandable, I went through a LOT of that being on my own with 2 youngsters, it's part of rebuilding your life without him.
You can do it though...fight to believe in yourself!!!!
Please don't doubt your maternal abilities. You're struggling right now, that does not make you a lesser mother.
Sleep is not a luxury for you, it is a necessity!!! I hope there is someplace like I mentioned that would give you at least a few hours of respite.
As jenjen said, it won't always be this way and I also have faith things will come together for you.
(((((((gentle hugs))))))