It's been a long hard past couple months so guess I just needed a place to vent for a moment as I've always recieved positive feedback off here before. My son has severe mental health issues and he has been struggling with them since he was younger and he is only 12 as sad as that sounds, but he has been diagnosed with an array of things more prominently unspecified szicophenia and he takes some pretty heavy medications which I hate but know is necessary. He has been placed in facilities a few times a couple of which I didnt really have a choice or say in the matter because if his violent tendencies and safety concerns for his siblings but we have worked so hard with his therapists and psychiatrists and developmental disabilities worker to try and keep him from having to go back but with the decline of the mental health system especially for youth the resources are limited and now once again he is back in the hospital. I know its what's best and this is for his own good to keep him as well as his brothers safe but it still kills me, hes my baby and the only place they have is almost 5 hours away and to top it off our car broke down so I'm struggling to figure out how I will get up to see him every week... it seems everything that can go wrong will and if I didnt already have enough stress on my plate now cps is lurking around which I try not to worry about as having a son like I do I'm used to it they always come snooping around when he gets hospitalized and nothing comes of it because he has a record a mile long and I do everything I'm supposed to with the resources that are available but I also stress because there are some who dont care and want to cause problems just because they can and I know the child welfare system is corrupt and honestly they dont have to have a reason so take kids they have been knows to do it before and yes they get grants and job security for every family they put in the system and I've faught long and hard to stay out of it even to the point of having to sell everything and borrow to hire attorneys to do so because of who my son is.and after all this time given my sons history you'd think they would finally leave me alone but no this happens every time! lol...I'm sure it will work out but I'm so stressed right now I could just use some comforting wordst/advice I guess lol
we went to my Mom's appt to sort thru some papers on chairside table looking for a remote control for the tower fan...did not find it....then we went out to the hospital my sister is in.....he had to sit and stay in Mustang convertible with top down while I dropped off sisters Iphone cables and her Iwatch charger as well as Ipad....he did not have to stay there long....in out I went.....so then...
Sooooo I don’t want to type it all out right now. Basically I found some stuff out about my ex. And we talked tonight and ended with me sobbing, shaking, getting sick, and wanting to cut. I havent for like 2 years. But right now it’s all I want to do. Idk.