Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?'
> Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'
> Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?'
> Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?
> Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'
> Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?'
> Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?
> 'It is!'
> 'This is the IRS. Can you help us?'
> 'I can!'
> 'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'
> 'I do!'
> 'Is he a member of your congregation?'
> 'He is!'
> 'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?'
> 'He will.'
>
>
> Wife: 'What are you doing?'
> Husband: Nothing.
> Wife: 'Nothing . . . ? You've been studying our marriage certificate for quite some time.'
> Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'
>
> -------------------------------
>
> Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
> Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'
> Wife: 'Yes or no.'
>
>
> Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
> Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
> Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet. '
>
> ------------------------------
> Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
> Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'
> Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'
>
> ________________________________
>
> A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'
> 'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'
>
> A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan. 'What was that for?' the man asked. The wife replied , 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'. The man then said 'When I was at the races last week , Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on . ' The wife apologized and went on with the housework. Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again. Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'
>
>
> Let us pray......................
> Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
> Give me the grace to see a joke,
> To get some humor out of life,
> And pass it on to other folk
>
GBU ALL..............................
D
;-]
Why can't two elephants go swimming at the same time?
They only have one pair of trunks.
What did the grape say when an elephant stepped on him?
Nothing. He just gave a little whine.
What did Hannibal get when he crossed the alps with the elephants?
Mountains that will never forget.
And FINALLY
Plenty of room.
What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?
Best Elephant jokes ever!
All were great!
Pepper, I so remember watching that, hilarious!
Thanks!
Two cowboys are riding the range on a cold blustery day.
One cowboy says to the other, How do you keep your lips from chapping?"
Other cowboy says, I kiss my horses ass."
"and that keeps your lips from chapping?"
" No. But it sure helps keep you form licking them!"
THEY R TRULY APPRECIATED.
HEE HEE HEE...............................
GBU ALL,
D
;-]