I've been down that road 4 times and 2 of the times I was taken to the hospital and 1 time was admitted into inpatient at a behavioral health hospital. It's scary, but you need to talk out the issues or fears that you are having so you don't go even further into that dark forest. You are not alone and I'm here if you need to talk. Hugs!

Hi Marie - I am truly sorry and feeling for you. In my own experience, the most recent dance I had with suicide came the closest I had ever come to actually leaving this world. For the first time, I found myself with a plan - one that I saw as unique and meaningful to me - and this both frightened me immensely and gave me a disturbing and twisted sense of comfort. In retrospect, I know now that I was truly scared, and that the comfort was irrationality manifesting itself from my depression and suicidal ideation. It was given more power by the fact that I am a follower of minimalism - filling your life with things that are meaningful and important to you - and this plan adhered to this mindset. Here's what I know now: By going through with that plan, and ending my own life, I would never again be able to experience the joy and passion I feel when I observe the creature that would have killed me. I want to help the world's wildlife, and the planet as a whole; if I had killed myself then, I feel I would have failed not only that animal, but the entire world's ecosystems and everything within them.

I believe it is so courageous of you to speak out about your thoughts and feelings around suicide. In the world today, depression and suicide are pariahs of conversation and thought; no one "wants" to talk about or address them, even though they are startlingly prevalent and a huge percentage of the young adult death rate at this time. One of the ways that we can help this is by doing exactly what you are doing now - speaking up and out, shattering the silence. Acknowledging that we need others to help us and guide us back to our path, our passions, and reclaiming our lives. Hold on to what you love; you are stronger than you believe. Like Lexa said before me, I am here for you if you need to talk about anything. Be kind to yourself; you are loved.

Birdie