Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Its been a while since I last posted in here. The med is working, and I feel better. I have started to do my make up everyday for example. I dont cry anymore. And I have the urge to flight, even dought I still have the thought that would be easier if I'm not here anymore. I still have ups and downs, more ups than downs. I'm not happy, but at least I'm alive now.
I'm still alone, its the second weekend in a row that I stayed in bed all the day, not because I wanted, but because I dont have anybody to go out and do anything. Of course I could go by myself, but I want some company. But I dont cry about that anymore, I just spent the day watching series with my dog, and I actually feel ok, alone, but ok.
My emotional side now has hope, but my rational side still says to me that I will be alone. I know that I'm beautiful, that I'm special, inteligent, affectionate, and a lot of other good things (yes, I can see that now), but in our society today, what I'm and what I want (to build a loving family) nobody cares with that.
To everybody that I talk, besides my therapist, I fake that I'm happy. That way I dont have to listen to the same things that they say.
I can spend all the day feeling good, and faking happiness, but at night when I'm sleeping, I have dreams or nightmares with my ex, and then I woke up screaming, and have difficulties to go back to sleep, (thats my downs). Everybody says that I need to find somebody to put on his place. But nobody cares with the scars he left on me, and that still hurts, a lot. I'm ashamed to say it, but I know that I still love him, even that he doesnt cared about me anymore. And I just cant find anyone else because what I've said up there.
Thank you all to let me vent that. Its good to have a place that I can talk. Lets keep fighting. Hugs!
What you said about what persons seek these days it's so true. Most don't to settle and start a family. They chase unnecessary things and emotionally disturb your inner peace with their mediocre standards. It hard to keep hopes that you'll find someone who wants that but maybe there's that one person waiting for you.
Sharaninmd - yes I'm seeing a therapist, she is helping very much, but we decide that first we've to focus on my anxiety and social phobia. Thats also a problem on meeting new people. I'm trying doing different stuff, I'm going to a Yoga class, and planning on doing a cosplay on a big geek faire that will happen on my town, that I always wanted to go.