I went off of my meds, because they were making me feel suicidal and I was cutting myself. I have been doing much better until recently when I found out that my dh had replied to a personal ad on the internet from a man. I had no warning, and it hit me very hard. I think that I went into survival mode and now, a month later, the effects are hitting me. We have had a troubled marriage, and part of that is because we are so completely different. When they say opposites attract, we are that picture. I like to joke around and experience new things, like going to new and different places, and he is quite content coming home from work, sitting on the couch eating dinner, watching tv and then going to bed at 10:00. I would love to go to an art museum, a concert, to a local live nite at a bar, or have friends or family over.

I am not sure what I should do now. He told me that he was not going to carry through with it, but I have trouble trusting him now. At least the last time he started anything online, it was with a woman. I feel as if I can compete with a woman, but not with man. I feel like sh*t and I also don't want to slip back into the bottom of the depression. I can't seem to get out of bed and I really don't want to be around people.