Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Jtiffsmi 03/05/2020

I started the year off in a bad situation but my situation gave me motivation. Lately I can feel it seeping from my body. I've been slipping deeper and deeper into my own brain and finally sent a message to my ex-bast friend whom I still love deeply but haven't spoken to in 10+ years. I don't really know why I sent it and I didn't really expect an answer back, but she did message me back. She only wanted to tell me that there were no hard feelings and she wished me the best. That's not what I wanted. I just wanted to her to say she missed me too. I just wanted her to want me back in her life. I feel like I spilled my heart out and got a little pat on the head in return. And I know she doesn't owe me anything, and she's entitled to her feelings too, but I just wish it was different. I've made so many bad decisions. I haven't been good to the people that have been good to me and now I can't fix it. And then I go back a forth because I feel like I was treated badly too. I don't know what to do. I don't have a good support system and I 'm not good at making friends. I really just would like to be different. I don't want it to be a struggle to do normal things like, make dinner or go play with my kids or clean up the house. I wish I wasn't so damn tired all the time. I don't want to question wether I'm making a good decision or a bad one. I'd like to be certain about things instead of always guessing. I wish someone would just choose me and keep choosing me. I wish I didn't have to keep convincing myself that I'm capable of doing it and I'm worthy of it getting done. My poor kid's deserve so much better. I've screwed up their lives so much. I can see how I've damaged them. I can see where they're struggling and how it's my fualt. I wish that wasnt hard too. Everything feels pretty overwhelming right now and it's getting harder to cope.

Diane22 03/05/2020

So just a few questions for you. Did you look into therapy? It helps so much to get agood therapist and work out these painful situations. U dont need to make friends, you can do things like even walking outside for 15 mins. Just get the body moving a bit. I am going through my own pain right now and i know that tired feeling. Makes u want to just lay down and sleep. I have to fight it everyday and go out and get in a little exercise. When we are in a bad spot is not a good time to look for someone else. you need to get right inside you before hand. And with you having kids you def need to take action immediately. U have to think about them. Keep pushing ahead through that depression u can do it.

Jtiffsmi 03/05/2020

I'm so tried of doing things by myself. I know that I can and I will, but I just wish I could connect with people better. I think that's normal of human beings. We aren't supposed to be out here solitary, even though we can and sometimes it's more peaceful that way. And I've been doing everything by myself for years now, I had myself convinced I was content in that. People aren't supposed to have to stand tall all the time without support :-(.

Jtiffsmi 03/05/2020

I have looked into therapy and I would like to start working with a doctor. Unfortunately I'll have to find space in my budget and schedule to get these things done. I think I need to find my kids a good therapist first and make sure they don't end up like me.

zeezee 03/05/2020

Big hugs to you. I cannot say that I relate to you completely but the best advice I got from someone once was, stop looking back and start improving the steps you take forward. You've made a lot of mistakes in the past and probably hurt the people that cared for you, like your friend. I think it's good that you made peace with her at the very least, but I sensed that she doesn't want to get caught in your life anymore. That's OK. This is why you need to move on forward. You've acknowledged your problems. It's time to heal yourself and forgive yourself. Be better, for yourself and those around you.

Lavender80 03/05/2020

Depression makes you look back at the past full of regrets. Your friend was kind and wished you well...but it's hard to pick back up especially if there was a great period of time in between.

Perhaps you can just interact with her more and see how receptive she is too it?

If not, then you just have to let that go. Friends for a season for a reason. You can and will make more friends.

Diane made a good point to just start moving a bit more each day. Even if that's just a 10 min walk or a stroll around your home. You will get stronger from it.

The kids need you to take care of yourself. When they see that mommy is doing well...they will feel better too.

It is obvious that you love and care for them greatly.

Maybe walk as a family?

Sending you light and love...you're not alone.

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