This situation (see the text sent below) and the absolutely disappointment and irrational anger ( from me with alcohol involved to confront him ). When I confronted my roommate and acted out on what felt like was a betrayal, has now been a huge blow on our friendship (he ignores me even more) and now I just feel more uncomfortable and this only makes life less desirableas;this was my last on friend in life ( I have NO support system at all ) I moved here because he said he wanted to help me (I absolutely trusted this man) and he knows I get deeply depressed and have been struggling to make it and then this happens and I am stuck in sadness and feel in checkmate with my depression ... can someone give me advice on this IM I sent him (confronting him) and tell me if I mentally and emotionally am wrong for being so hurt. I have known this person on and off for years.
Text: : I apologize for my upset tone with you this morning. However, please read on & I hope you understand. I was thinking about when you asked me, as your friend, to come visit you when I was in Goldendale and I did. While we were out, you had a change of plans because you wanted to hangout with your different "friends" & you had me drive to your house & wait for you for over 8 hours. Well, I still allowed myself to forgive you. Then a week or so ago, we had plans & then you changed your plans because you wanted to go out with your other "friends " & then again you did it last night. You stood this friend up to be with your other "friends "; again. It is not like we hangout much to began with anyway. Last night when your "friend" loudly asked if those sun glasses were yours, all you could say is "no, it her's" It sounded like you were upset to be referencing me. That's when I realized you really don't think of me as a friend. However, you were happy to reference me as your housekeeper maybe even the gardener but, not a friend. Last night when your "friend" loudly sounded to reference me, the other person told her to hush and your "friend "said loudly, I don't give a fuck who hears me. When I came in from smoking, you all became very quiet but, as you already informed me, you had no intentions of me meeting any friends right now. So, I made no plans to interrupt. The silence was hurtful. I am hurt more than upset & not because of your "friends " came to see you but more on how it's always done. Yes, upset that you had me come here in such an uncomfortable position. I already had a job & a place to stay, although I would have had to get a second job or I could have traveled one more time because I had the money to move permanently. Instead, I believed in you & yes I, followed your advice. Now I am financially stuck & I don't know what to do. I never thought I would become the 3rd wheel & I am so embarrassed that I even thought that you thought of me as a friend.
Feeling better today to sleep is getting a little better but it's not quite there but at least I can say with the help of everyone here and the support and the nice messages I can honestly say this is a really safe place to talk with others who might experience the same thing. So I want to just say hugs to all of you!
A recurring question in my long and complex mental health herstory, is, "How do I know when a psychotic episode is passing?" When is it safe to let down my therapy guard and breath a sigh of relief that I survived another one and can safely return to now-routine therapy maintenance.Details unimportant to this particular discussion, but I believe I am stabilizing after an especially long and tough...