Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I've suffered with depression for almost a decade now and it has ruined everything about my life. Any hobbies that I enjoy, I soon despise after finding reasons to hate them and no longer enjoy them. For one example, I was THRILLED to go to college a couple years ago, but shortly after I started hating it, secluded myself, stopped eating, and complained to my parents about how much I wanted to come back home. I stuck with it and graduated, but convinced myself it was the worst time of my life and have barely any memories of it now. Now, I would KILL to redo that time of my life and it pains me every day knowing that I gave up the greatest years of my life so easily to my depression.
Now, this is affecting my relationship. I made it 3 years without this happening. My boyfriend was everything to me and I cherished him so much because he took all the pain away. Now, I'm like convincing myself it's not working out after we moved in together earlier this year. Just like in college and everything else, I'm finding reasons to not want to be in this anymore. To be fair, he has done stuff that other girls probably would have left him for long ago, but I always forgave it because he made me happy. But now, all of that stuff is floating back up and I'm starting to resent him for it. Still, there are days when I fall in love with him all over again and couldn't imagine my life without him. I'm scared because I don't know if my depression is making me hate my relationship or if I'm actually just unhappy in my relationship. I've told him exactly that and he says he will never give up on me, which makes me feel terrible for even thinking like this because he's stuck with me through so, so, so much crap. I don't know what to do.
To start with, may I ask why you are so down on yourself? Yes, depression might be part of it.
Been there myself. I have talked myself into disliking many things because I can. But I have found this to be quit toxic. Especially for myself. You lose friends and make enemies. STOP IT!!!
And the boyfriend thing...you stay in that relationship because you are so down on yourself you think that's what you deserve. STOP IT.
You deserve more. And I know. Because I've been there. Was there just yesterday. I've been married 30+ years. I thought "he's the only one who would have stayed with me all these years."
BTW, I am quit handicapped now.
But, I deserve better. I can get better. I with him because ... well, not sure why right now.
But, exam why. Really think about it. Are you with him because you think he's the only one who will love you? Really? Have you given anyone else a try?
This is just my opinion. Think about it. Maybe we can connect?
I have always been extremely down on myself. Lately I’m starting to realize that I’m the toxic one in most situations because of how I let myself ruin good things.
Also, you really made a good point regarding my boyfriend and my relationship. I’ve never given anyone else a chance and he’s all I’ve ever known, so there could be someone better for me out there and I’m not giving myself the chance to look. I do think he is the only one who will love me because he hasn’t left yet and everyone always leaves.
Thank you for sharing your opinion, I would love to connect with you!
Because its a part of you, you can't hide any aspect of your life or feelings from it so it can nag at sensitive subjects. but you need to snap back, to put it in its place and tell it to shut up. it ruined college? go back, go back and take continuing education classes or non-credit courses. don't let that be the final chapter in you experience.
Your relationship is unique and will need personal reflection. but depression will always complain and blame you in the end of negative results. But relationships should be a three legged stool, you, him, and us. each aprt must be able to support its weight. You must have your own life and unique traits that make you you. he, the same. then the us is a strength of the two as one in the relationship, if his (or yours) aren't acceptable in the relationship, they must be addressed and repaired. but it is never just one persons fault...ever. it is important to defeat depression with conscience and wisdom. depression will always complain, but with a set direction within yourself. you can stuff a sock in its mouth and quiet its negative babblings.