I'm amid my first depressive episode of 2019 and I honestly can't see my way out of it. I felt like I was doing so well with managing before, but now I've been reduced to a person that can't look at themself in the mirror or leave my apartment. I woke up this morning with one thought on my mind: "I should just end this." I honestly don't see the point in continuing and I don't have anyone around me that would be devestated or heartbroken in my absence. I quit my job a few days ago because the overwhelming feeling of "I can't do this, I'm not good enough" made the thought of being in public where people could see me so trying that I just wanted to go home and break down. I burst into tears everytime I think about continuing this way and I'm seriously contemplating committing suicide. I'm not sure what it is that I need to break out of this, but I thought maybe venting to a group of people that understands mights be worth a shot. Even if I continue, I have no job or resources, no friends, no drive or will. I don't want to live like this anymore.