Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
hi i wrote a journal entrie last nite when i got soo upset...i hope its not took long...i just want to go mute and sleep for a long time
So today i went to my neighbors house to ask what was going on because her daughter went to the hospital. she told that her daughter had an episode and was in the local mental hospital. then she asked me how i was doing and stuff and i said good, i had a fit on saturday. and she asked me what happened and i told her that i just got extrememly angry and started screaming and crying and she was like ughh dont do that childish non sense. and then she was like u just do that because you want attention right? and i was like no , because i got overwhelmed with anger and that how i deal with it. i cant believe she asked if i wanted attention, just people that tell me i look for attention hurt my feelings on the bad. why would i want attention like that for and from who?? its like they totally dismiss me, and i never asked to talk to her she asked me.
it was the same with my school counselor at my old town and kind of my therapist. it makes me just want to stop talking, go back to keeping silent but i wont because i know how much that hurts me. with developing ptsd in 8th grade. I DONT DO WHAT I DO FOR ATTENTION. ive kept my life secret for sooooo longgg!! no one knew about my cutting, my comtemplations, the SA, what was in my mind until i couldnt deal by myself anymore and the cutting and contemplation put me in the hospital. all i do is ask for help, is that so wrong??
she told me that i could come back later when she comes back from the hospital but im not. im proabably over reacting but im angry. like just because she doesnt know whats in my head, and doesnt know the hell im in practically everyday does that give her every right to say im an atention seeker?? From now im on gonna try to stop talking except to the people that i need to talk to like my therapist and psychiatrist and stuff. my counselor that came to the house said that she knows i dont look for attention when my dad said i was an atention seeker. i just wish people could understand. i wanna be understood :'(
So today i went to my neighbors house to ask what was going on because her daughter went to the hospital. she told that her daughter had an episode and was in the local mental hospital. then she asked me how i was doing and stuff and i said good, i had a fit on saturday. and she asked me what happened and i told her that i just got extrememly angry and started screaming and crying and she was like ughh dont do that childish non sense. and then she was like u just do that because you want attention right? and i was like no , because i got overwhelmed with anger and that how i deal with it. i cant believe she asked if i wanted attention, just people that tell me i look for attention hurt my feelings on the bad. why would i want attention like that for and from who?? its like they totally dismiss me, and i never asked to talk to her she asked me.
it was the same with my school counselor at my old town and kind of my therapist. it makes me just want to stop talking, go back to keeping silent but i wont because i know how much that hurts me. with developing ptsd in 8th grade. I DONT DO WHAT I DO FOR ATTENTION. ive kept my life secret for sooooo longgg!! no one knew about my cutting, my comtemplations, the SA, what was in my mind until i couldnt deal by myself anymore and the cutting and contemplation put me in the hospital. all i do is ask for help, is that so wrong??
she told me that i could come back later when she comes back from the hospital but im not. im proabably over reacting but im angry. like just because she doesnt know whats in my head, and doesnt know the hell im in practically everyday does that give her every right to say im an atention seeker?? From now im on gonna try to stop talking except to the people that i need to talk to like my therapist and psychiatrist and stuff. my counselor that came to the house said that she knows i dont look for attention when my dad said i was an atention seeker. i just wish people could understand. i wanna be understood :'(
I know its hard, but please ignore those who say we do what we do just for the attention. There is so much more to it than that. These people don't know what its like to walk in your shoes, and its impossible to get them to understand where you're coming from.