You need to tell someone if you haven't already. you are not a psycho there is nothing wrong with asking for help

Thank you for sharing this, I'm sure many people can relate to it. Your therapist has heard much stranger stories, and she/he has been trained not to be judgmental. Eating disorders are quite common; you could say they are an epidemic. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You haven't done anything bad or wrong, you just aren't making the healthiest choices for personal happiness. You have your whole life ahead of you, and so much to offer. I'll pray for you.

Hang in there. I had bulimia when i was younger. Strange enough, I just grew out of it - never sought help at the time. Im glad you came to DS. Lots of caring and sharing. A great first step!

I do so relate. Not with bulimia or anorexia. But, the fact that other's might view me "different". NO!! That is something within. I know, it use to be my "go to."
You are worth soooo much more. You are worth the time and effort. Please, things can be "cured". But, it could take years. Nothing is "fixable" overnight. Like...losing 10 pounds overnight. It takes time, effort, friends, support....but, it can be done!!!

You must tell someone.

Thank you all so very much for your replies.
I occasionally write down how i feel and give it to my therapist and goes through it.
I had an appointment today and they basically said there is something wrong with my personality, im complicated and like a "puzzle". They do like to make me feel odd.
Thank you

I shouldn't think so. I think they just haven't figured things out yet. shrinks do like to give what's wrong with you a name.

It could be Borderline personality? If you do have that, that's a bonus, because it's curable. Look it up, it often involves going off the deep end. Anxiety I think is curable but others think isn't. So either of those two could be a good thing.

We're all here because our lives have been so crap it's dented our brain pan and here we are, stuck with the damage. This has a good side: there's literally nothing you can tell us short of strangling babies that we can't handle hearing. You're among people who have had stuff happen to them that has broken doors down in their understanding. We've seen bad things and had to reconcile ourselves to their existence. We've had to learn how to accept things that aren't mainstream.

So let it all hang out. Just let it out. Here is a safe place with padded walls that your real world friends won't know about. You can let it out safely here. :)

We aren't your counsellors: we're your fellow sufferers. We're your peers. We ACTUALLY understand.

Hi thank you for replying!
I think he meant bpd. But he was confusing me, like its not an illness and it actually my personality and that i need to change my personality.
He said i would of been born with it. But i dont remember complusivly overodisng or doing dangerous things when i was younger.
I think i have depression not a personality disorder

borderline personality disorder is just a name they use for a cluster of problems that a person has and it doesn't mean you have to 'change your personality' - what would that even be. Nobody could do that. But it does involve them teaching you coping skills to buy yourself time and teach you how to take things slowly, think things through, how to cope with the anxiety and the depression when things go wrong and serve your own interests better.

There are some very good documentaries on youtube you can watch, I watched a pile of them one day, and I suspect sometimes that maybe I had it too when I was younger.

The symptoms I saw on the documentaries involved depression, anxiety, not really understanding how other people are feeling, separation anxiety, .. I can't remember. There were a few. BPD sufferers can often end up suiciding so it's really important if that is the diagnosis, that you find a good counsellor and work with them towards getting cured of it.

anyway it's very important that you take all the help they offer, and don't kill yourself. Your family would be distraught and you would have missed out on all the good things life has to offer. Right now you can't see them, but you will in time, and you'll be glad you're around to enjoy them.

:)