I got out this morning. I am not really feeling better, but have a plan now. I am going to distance myself from my hurtful children. 2 weeks at least with NO contact. That was my psychiatrists idea. He also started me on Lithium. He said it is one of the last choices before ECT. He really wants to avoid that for some reason. I at least am not feeling like killing myself at this moment. Im sure those thoughts will haunt me for a long time until I get better. I also need to stop isolating myself. Its been esp. bad the last 2 weeks.
I wish my kids wouldn't hurt me so badly. I was a good mom, NOT perfect, but they had it pretty darn good!
The hubby is being pretty good. He did the laundry while I was gone. For the first time in 24 years, he put his own laundry away lol. I know I have hurt him too, & I apologized for that this morning. I have never been so glad to see someone. The psych ward was THE most miserable experience of my life. No real therapy there. Just more isolation. The bed was like a slab of concrete & the shower head was SO plugged up, it just spurted water. They gave me a HUGE bath towel, which was more like a blanket, to sop the water off the floor after my shower because most of the water squirted over the curtain.They said ALL the shower heads are like that. The windows were completely covered with bird poop. I was appalled how there is VERY little maintainence in that place.
No matter HOW bad I feel, I will never go to that place again. I wish I had the money to go to a spa somewhere for the weekend. Oh well, being at home is better than being there.
Thank you for all of your kind replies & prayers.