hey, we can get through this. We need you here, you have good things to say. I've got to go pick up my daughter (she started her new job today!) but I'll be back.

Don't worry about upseting people if you need help. People can take care of themselves and you don't have the power to make folks feel the way they choose to feel.

Your depression is why you want to be alone (isolate). Your subconcious desire to live is why you have posted here on the crisis board. If you didn't have that inner drive... you would not be posting here.

If you have a therapist you need to tell him/her what is going on asap as you are probably in crisis if not close to it. You are worth trying to fight for, but you are the one is is going to have to save yourself in the end. HUGS

I just feel sick to my stomach over everything. Nothing ever seems to get better, only worse.

How are things today? I hope you're feeling better.

Not better, worse. I think people are always ignoring me because they can never understand what I'm saying. .. Someone just called me selfish because I could never understand his journal entries enough to respond=( People keep kicking me when I'm already down... Who exactly wants me to stay alive?

I don't think you should let yourself feel bad because of one persons reaction to a comment. Let such comments roll like water off a ducks back. HUGS

I want you to stay alive!

Thank you. Is it normal for depressed people to go up and down so frequently in there moods?...and loose control at the downs and ups?
I feel like I was throwing a tantrum=/

That could be a sign of bipolar disorder rather than depression (what some call "unipolar depression" because there are no manic states).

Have you started or stopped any meds recently? Have you adjusted the dose of any meds? If you're taking antidepressants, are you taking anything else that could be interfering with the antidepressant's action?

The ups and downs are often a sign that a medication is not yet at the proper level in your body, either because it is still building up to steady state (metabolization of the drug keeps a constant level in your body and the amount taken in balances the amount excreted, how long it takes for this to occur depends on the half-life of the drug) or the dose is inadequate to last until the next dose. Do your mood changes happen at a certain time of day?

I haven't been on any meds because I have been unemployed for so long. I start my new job soon and hope to get properly treated. I honestly really haven't noticed a pattern in my moods. I think they happen whenever they feel like it. Maybe I'm possessed?

I would look into bipolar disorder... hugs

see if you can find a dr with a sliding fee scale... i wouldn't wait too long to get help. HUGS

I don't think you're possessed.

Those ups and downs can happen when you really need medication but are not taking any. Wal-Mart, different drug stores, and some grocery chains have certain medications for depression on their plans where a month's supply of the medicine is only a few dollars.