Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

24,601 Members
160,807 Posts
1 Online
Mental Health
/ Depression Support Group

ideological differneces

vallonzek
vallonzek
my dad and i sit on opposite sides of the political fence... which is very strange, since we have almost the exact same opinions on just about every subject you can bring up

but he watches a certain news network, almost exclusively... and when i try to tell him things that are part of the public record and absolutely true no matter who you ask, he denies them because his news network didnt say it

seriously, if they dont tell him the sky is blue, then its just not blue... and if they tell him its bright pink, he'll walk outside and agree that that blue sky is bright pink

its really aggrivating when he tells me im stupid or wrong just because his preffered propaganda network didnt agree with me...

but on the other hand, hes 71 now, and i dont think hes gonna last much longer... my mom just died a few months ago and now talks about is his own death way too much... and i dont know if its worth trying to educate him on whats really going on in the world

a big part of me keeps saying 'just let him live out his last few years in his little world'

its not like he'd do anything with the truth if he accepted it

but it also keeps me from having honest conversations with him... it keeps me from doing things i think i should be doing, just because i know he would disagree with it... and it makes me do things id really rather not do in my life, just to make him happy

i dunno what to do

*sigh*

(this is not meant to be a political discussion... i have purposely left out a lot of infos so that it wont become a political discussion... please keep that in mind if you reply)
muskrattiger
muskrattiger
I think that if you have had a loving relationship with him that you should just love the parts. of him you can and just except the rest ....how much longer will you have him in your life to love ....that is just my opinion and I don't know all the facts ....take care ...god bless
mginmn
mginmn
I know what you mean about how some people are with politics, and I am guessing I know what network you are talking about. This is very common in today's world. Yet it is obvious you and your dad love each other, and that is the most important thing. I often get frustrated myself when people do not seem to listen to facts and reason. It reinforces in my mind a feeling that I somehow do not count, nobody cares what I think; that nobody cares about me, period. For me anyway, it often is not really about the politics, it's about feeling invalidated as a person. However, I have loved people who differ from me politically. Is there a way you can either avoid talking about politics so much or else have fun with it and make jokes about it? It is highly unlikely you are going to change his mind, and if there are other things you can share with him (and apparently there are), maybe stick more to those things.
koolman
koolman
Politics and religion: Two topics that people tend to be ideologically rigid about. Best not to bring up politics with your dad, just let him rant and rave as he will, then bring up other subjects, like sports or his grandkids.
koolman
koolman
Yes, soothe the man in his final years on this Earth. When he's gone, you're gonna miss him, and will be cherishing these times you and him enjoyed this unhealthy banterdebate! When you go to your own grave and are judged by God as to your good deeds/not so good deeds, you want to be able to tell God that you soothed your old man in his final golden years.
LivingWater
LivingWater
My mother was very stubborn and set in her ways. But when she became elderly and near death, I figured it was pointless to disagree with her! She passed in 2011, God rest your soul (even though you were wrong !!!) Smile.
Community LeaderThePepperMan
ThePepperMan
When we were young our parents held our hands while we walked from the childhood world of make believe into the real world. At some point they let go of us and we made our own way, largely because we knew those hands were there to catch us if we fell.

Now as we grow old, it is our children who will hold our hands as we make the journey from the real world back into a smaller world that is comfortable to us. The new destination need not be real nor consistent, but we do want it to be comfortable.

So in a similar, yet different, way allow your father to walk into that world that makes him comfortable. Find some phrases to use that acknowledge his views without either accepting them or denying them. Hey, we did it with our children as they talked about growing up and we can do it with our parents as they grow old.

I know this is hard. My mom had to do it with her dad. Her trick was to not let his statements about her beliefs or what she believed in bother her. To a certain extent she had to discount his opinions in general.

I'm starting on this road with my dad. For instance, when Robin Williams died he was angry at all the media attention given to a person who committed suicide.


Gentle hugs
vallonzek
vallonzek
thanks for all the replies

its just so frustrating becuase everything i believe, i believe because i listened to him... and agreed with him, in almost every instance... and now he thinks we're sooo far apart on just about every subject

oh well, my sister is a LOT worse than he is about it... i almost never talk to her anymore because of it