For i am your voice. Yes, depression makes you feel like you are dead, you stop being interested in the things you used to do. I undestnd, for myself i am depressed. I've been depressed since I was 11. It's a very young age, but anythng is possible. I read some stories online how to be a friend whom your friend is depressed, or how you cope with it yourself snd how it effects you. I am here to share my story. i hope that by sharing my story, i can show you that their is hope, and that it is possible to achieve amazing things, even when living with depression.

My name is Jourdin, i am a junior student and 17 years of age.My father has remarreid when i was 13. My mother has not found the man of her dreams yet.

My depression has effected me on everything. Effected me on school, trying to keep my grades at a steady rate, etc. At age of 10, I was watching my sister go through depession herself. I was confused. I didn't know what was going on. I just knew that she was in a place that was gated up and you can only see her at a certain time. As i got older, i realized she was depressed and she was in a mental hospital.

By the age of 11, i was depressed myself before my parents told my sister and I, they were going to get a divorce. I was going through a stuff time, i had a hard time opening up to people who asked if i was okay, i wouldnt even open up to my therapist or parents. i switched to 2-3 different school each year. i rarely had friends, i was the girl who sat at the table by herself. if anybody came up to me, it would've been bullies. they would pick on me because i was lonely, i had so much hatred on myself. After school, i would always run home and cry. 

Between the ages of 12-13, I didn't know what to think. I was basically dead. i didn't want to get into my old interests, no more reading, no more laughing, playing with the other children at the park. I would sleep through half of the day and stare out my window and watch time fly. I got the help I needed by many people whom loved me dearly. Seconds, mintues, hours, weeks, months, years. Nothing changed but seasons. I felt like i couldn't even get out of bed to go eat. I would give myself negativity for not feeling the way i wanted to feel. People would brag to me about their happy family and how eveyrhting works well, while imjust rying to getbthrough life as much as i can.

At age 14-15, with the help of those beloved people, I was getting to where i wanted to be. Slowly, but it was working. At 15, I was back to where i was, riding bikes wth friends and going to the park with my dogs. i couldn't have been where i was with the help from a lot of people.

Age 16, i feel right back in my hole. I wasnt the happy girl people remebered me from. 

17 years of age, My depression is getting better slowly. I am able to comprehend with the things surrounding me. I learned that laying in bed all day and not being able to get out, you're going to be stuck for awhile. I am not going to say dealing with depression is hard because i am alive. Yes, i am struggling but that doesn't mean it's hard. Everyone is different, for those whose depression is hard and you're ready to kill yourself. DON'T. You have many many years in front of you. I care about your life, friends and family. Trust me, i've thought about ending my life but then as i get older, i found a reason to stay alive, which was my mother. i love my mother dearly, i dont want her to go through a devisation stage after losing her child. My mother has been struggling a lot with these past few years. she's running low on everything she has and i couldn't dare to think she no longer has a child. 

I am your voice. Dont let depression bring you to a breaking point no matter how tough it is. We hear and see things that can't be undone. Dont let the bad break you so much that you become weak. i know that it hurts but it can also be ignored, YOU ARE A STRONG ONE. If someone hurts you, defend yourself. Talk to someone who you think can help you.